Mourning
Mourning is the emotional expression in response to a major life event causing grief, especially loss. It typically occurs as a result of someone's death, especially a loved one.
The word describes a complex of behaviors in which the bereaved participate or are expected to participate, the expression of which varies by culture. Wearing black clothes is one practice followed in many countries, though other forms of dress are seen. Those most affected by the loss of a loved one often observe a period of mourning, marked by withdrawal from social events and quiet, respectful behavior in some cultures, though in others mourning is a collective experience. People may follow religious traditions for such occasions.
Mourning may apply to the death of, or anniversary of the death of, an important individual such as a local leader, monarch, religious figure, or member of family. State mourning may occur on such an occasion. In recent years, some traditions have given way to less strict practices, though many customs and traditions continue to be followed.
Death can be a release for the mourner, in the case of the death of an abusive or tyrannical person, or when death terminates the long, painful illness of a loved one. However, this release may add remorse and guilt for the mourner.
Stages of grief
Mourning is a personal and collective response which can vary depending on feelings and contexts. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's theory of grief describes five separate periods of experience in the psychological and emotional processing of death. These stages do not necessarily follow each other, and each period is not inevitable. The theory was originally posited to describe the experiences of those confronted with their imminent deaths, but has since been adopted to understand the experiences of bereaved loved ones. The theory has faced criticism for being overly prescriptive and lacking evidence.- : A phase characterized by the refusal of the griever to accept news of a loved one's death or terminal illness. Typically a shorter period which exists as a defense mechanism in the case of a distressing situation.
- : This phase is characterized by a sense of outrage due to the loss, accompanied by guilt in some cases. The anger response typically involves blaming others for the loss, potentially including higher powers.
- : This phase sees a person engage in internal or external bargaining and negotiation.
- : The depression phase can be the longest phase of the mourning process, characterized by great sadness, questioning, and distress. An allowance of the pain from which the first three stages may be defense mechanisms. Mourners in this phase sometimes feel that they will never complete their mourning. They have experienced a wide range of emotions and their sorrow is great.
- : The last stage of mourning, where the bereaved gets better. The reality of the loss is much more understood and accepted. The denial of grief is no longer present. There is an increased focus on the celebration of life, fond memories and the development of plans moving forward.
- : When someone close to a person dies, the person enters a period of sorrow and questioning, or even nervous breakdown. There are three stages in the grieving process, encompassing the denial, depression and acceptance phases of Kübler-Ross' five step model.
- : The feelings and mental state of the mourner affect their ability to maintain or enter into relationships with others, including professional, personal and sexual relationships. After the customs of burying or cremating the deceased, many cultures follow a number of socially-prescribed traditions that may affect the clothing a person wears and what activities they can partake in. These traditions are generally determined by the degree of kinship to and the social importance of the deceased.
Social customs and dress
Africa
Ethiopia
In Ethiopia, an Edir is a traditional community organization whose members assist each other during the mourning process. Members make monthly financial contributions forming the Edir's fund. They are entitled to receive a certain sum of money from this fund to help cover funeral and other expenses associated with deaths. Additionally, Edir members comfort the mourners: female members take turns doing housework, such as preparing food for the mourning family, while male members usually take the responsibility to arrange the funeral and erect a temporary tent to shelter guests who come to visit the mourning family. Edir members will stay with the mourning family and comfort them for a week or more, during which time the family is never alone.Nigeria
In Nigeria, there is a cultural belief that a recent widow is impure. During the mourning period, which lasts from 3 months to a year, several traditions are enforced for the purpose of purification, including confinement, complete shaving of the widow and her children, and a ban on any hygiene practices- including hand-washing, wearing clean clothes or sitting off the floor when eating. The extended family of the husband also take all the widow's property. These practices are criticized for the health risks and emotional damage to the widow.Asia
East Asia
White is the traditional color of mourning in Chinese culture, with white clothes and hats formerly having been associated with death. In imperial China, Confucian mourning obligations required even the emperor to retire from public affairs upon the death of a parent. The traditional period of mourning was nominally 3 years, but usually 25–27 lunar months in practice, and even shorter in the case of necessary officers; the emperor, for example, typically remained in seclusion for just 27 days.The Japanese term for mourning dress is, referring to either primarily black Western-style formal wear or to black kimono and traditional clothing worn at funerals and Buddhist memorial services. Other colors, particularly reds and bright shades, are considered inappropriate for mourning dress. If wearing Western clothes, women may wear a single strand of white pearls. Japanese-style mourning dress for women consists of a five-crested plain black silk kimono, a black and black accessories worn over white undergarments, black and white. Men's mourning dress consists of clothing worn on extremely formal occasions: a plain black silk five-crested kimono and black and white, or gray and white, striped trousers over white undergarments, a black crested jacket with a white closure, white or black and white. It is customary for Japanese-style mourning dress to be worn only by the immediate family and very close friends of the deceased; other attendees wear Western-style mourning dress or subdued Western or Japanese formal clothes.
Southeast Asia
In Thailand, people wear black when attending a funeral. Black is considered the mourning color, although historically it was white. Widows may wear purple when mourning the death of their spouse.In the Philippines, mourning customs vary and are influenced by Chinese and folk Catholic beliefs. The immediate family traditionally wear black, with white as a popular alternative. Others may wear subdued colors when paying respects, with red universally considered taboo and bad luck when worn within 9–40 days of a death as the color is reserved for happier occasions. Those who wear uniforms are allowed to wear a black armband above the left elbow, as do male mourners in barong tagalog. The bereaved, should they wear other clothes, attach a small scrap of black ribbon or a black plastic pin on the left breast, which is disposed of after mourning. Flowers are an important symbol in Filipino funerals. Consuming chicken during the wake and funeral is believed to bring more death to the bereaved, who are also forbidden from seeing visitors off. Counting nine days from moment of death, a novena of Masses or other prayers, known as the , is performed; the actual funeral and burial may take place within this period or after. The spirit of the dead is believed to roam the earth until the 40th day after death, when it is said to cross into the afterlife, echoing the 40 days between Christ's Resurrection and Ascension into Heaven. The immediate family on this day have another Mass said followed by a small feast, and do so again on the first death anniversary. This is the, which is the commonly accepted endpoint of official mourning.