Murder Is No Joke


"Murder Is No Joke" is a Nero Wolfe mystery novella by Rex Stout, first published in the 1958 short-story collection And Four to Go.
Stout subsequently rewrote and expanded the story as "Frame-Up for Murder", serialized in three issues of The Saturday Evening Post. It is the only time Stout rewrote and expanded a story for a magazine. "Frame-Up for Murder" was collected for the first time in book form in the Bantam Books short-story collection, Death Times Three.

Plot summary

Alec Gallant was a member of the French Resistance during World War II and at that time married another member, Bianca. After the war, he learned that his wife and her two brothers had been traitors to the Resistance. He murdered both men, but Bianca escaped him.
Gallant came to the United States in 1945 and rejoined his sister Flora, who had immigrated from France several years earlier. Gallant became a highly regarded couturier with a studio employing several staff, including Flora. A successful Broadway actress, Sarah Yare, is a valued customer, one who is well liked by all of Gallant's employees.
Into this happy mix comes Bianca. She has changed her surname to Voss and insinuated herself into Gallant's operation, making decisions about company strategy, apparently with Gallant's approval. Gallant has kept information about his past with Bianca to himself, hiding it not only from the staff but also from his sister, Flora. Everyone at Alec Gallant Incorporated is mystified that Gallant is putting up with Bianca's odd and counterproductive decisions, particularly because she seems to have no formal title or position at the company.
Fearing for her brother's career, Flora calls at Nero Wolfe's office and asks him to investigate the situation. She has only $100 to pay Wolfe's fee, but she says that her brother would be grateful to be rid of Miss Voss, and he is a generous man. Wolfe points out, though, that it's not Mr. Gallant who would be hiring him. Flora suggests that they phone Bianca, and invite her to Wolfe's office where he can ask questions of her, and then, "We shall see." In reporting this exchange, Archie Goodwin claims that it is Flora's choice of phrasing, instead of an informal "We'll see" or "We will see," that moves Wolfe to acquiesce.
Flora uses Archie's phone to call Miss Voss, and gives Archie the handset as Wolfe picks up his own phone. After identifying himself to Miss Voss, Wolfe becomes the target of a string of insults hurled by Miss Voss – "You are scum, I know, in your stinking sewer." – and then both Wolfe and Archie hear a thud, a groan, a crash, and a dead phone line.
Archie calls Gallant's offices back, and asks for Miss Voss. Archie and Wolfe learn that Miss Voss has just been found dead in her office. When they inform Flora, she seems stunned, and hurries from the office.
Later, discussing the situation with Inspector Cramer, Wolfe agrees it's very neat that Wolfe and Archie were on the phone with Miss Voss just as she was being assaulted, and thus can fix the time of the attack within a minute or two. That makes it difficult, because everyone at Gallant's studio has a strong alibi for that time.
The next day, Archie is summoned to the District Attorney's office to go over his statement once again. When he returns to the brownstone, he is astonished to see that Wolfe has exerted himself to the point of getting the phone book from Archie's desk and taking it to his own. Wolfe has no explanation of the phone book for Archie, but he does have instructions.

Cast of characters

  • Nero Wolfe — The private investigator
  • Archie Goodwin — Wolfe's assistant, and the narrator of all Wolfe stories
  • Alec Gallant — Couturier
  • Flora Gallant — His sister
  • Bianca Voss — Murder victim
  • Carl Drew — Gallant's business manager
  • Anita Prince — Fitter
  • Emmy Thorne — In charge of promotions
  • Sarah Yare — Broadway actress and Gallant client
  • Inspector Cramer and Sergeant Stebbins— Representing Manhattan Homicide

    Publication history

"Murder is No Joke"

''Nero Wolfe'' (CBC Radio)

"Murder Is No Joke" was adapted as the final episode of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation's 13-part radio series Nero Wolfe, starring Mavor Moore as Nero Wolfe, Don Francks as Archie Goodwin, and Cec Linder as Inspector Cramer. Written and directed by Toronto actor and producer Ron Hartmann, the hour-long adaptation aired on CBC Stereo April 10, 1982.