Bereavement in Judaism


Bereavement in Judaism is shaped and governed by a combination of Jewish custom, observations of figures in the Hebrew Bible, and derived therefrom in Judaism's Rabbinic literature. Chazal—the rabbis and scholars whose discussions are recorded in the Mishnah, Talmud, and Tosefta—explicate mourning Halakha in, for example, Mo'ed Katan 14b–28b, Sotah 14a:4, Berakhot 6b, and Sanhedrin 46b. The details of observance and practice vary according to each Jewish community.

Mourners

In Judaism, the principal mourners are the first-degree relatives: parent, child, sibling, and spouse. There are some customs that are specific to an individual mourning a parent. Religious laws concerning mourning do not apply to those under thirteen years of age, nor do they apply when the deceased individual is aged 30 days or less.

Upon receiving news of the death

Upon receiving the news of the death, the following blessing is recited:
In the Hebrew Bible, the mourning custom was to tear one's clothes the moment one heard the news of a death. The modern practice is for the close relatives who are the principal mourners to tear their clothing at the funeral.

Terminology and timing

  • Avel – mourner
  • Avelut – mourning, of which there are different levels based on who is mourned and the timing post-death:
  • * – generally the day when the news is heard; before burial. A mourner in this period is known as an.
  • * Shiva – seven days, from the Hebrew word . Begins with the burial day.
  • * Shloshim – 30 days, starting from the day of burial
  • * Shneim asar chodesh – mourning period of twelve months for a deceased parent
  • Chevra kadisha – burial society
  • Hesped – eulogy
  • Qaddish – said by a mourner or by someone on behalf of a mourner
  • Qeriah – tearing; timing varies by custom. At times deferred to the funeral chapel or at the cemetery
  • Qvura – burial
  • Levaya – funeral service. The word means "escort."
  • L'Illui Nishmat – Hebrew for [|elevation of the soul], sometimes abbreviated LI"N
  • Matzevah – monument or tombstone. See also [|Unveiling of the tombstone].
  • Petira – passing
  • Shemira – watching or guarding of the body until burial, to ensure it is not left unaccompanied
  • Tahara – purification of the body
  • Yahrzeit – Yiddish for anniversary of the date of passing

    Chevra kadisha

The chevra kadisha is a Jewish burial society usually consisting of volunteers, men and women, who prepare the deceased for proper Jewish burial. Their job is to ensure that the body of the deceased is shown proper respect, ritually cleansed, and shrouded. Their work is traditionally understood as an expression of chesed shel emet, a term used in Jewish tradition to describe acts of kindness performed for the deceased, who cannot repay or acknowledge them. Classical rabbinic sources regard care for the dead as the purest form of gemilut chasadim, emphasizing the dignity owed to every person in death. As part of this obligation, the chevra kadisha carries out burial preparations with discretion, simplicity, and equality, reflecting the communal responsibility to honor the deceased and support the bereaved.
Many local chevra kadishas in urban areas are affiliated with local synagogues, and they often own their own burial plots in various local cemeteries. Some Jews pay an annual token membership fee to the chevra kadisha of their choice, so that when the time comes, the society will not only attend to the body of the deceased as befits Jewish law, but will also ensure burial in a plot that it controls at an appropriate nearby Jewish cemetery.
If no gravediggers are available, then it is additionally the function of the male society members to ensure that graves are dug. In Israel, members of chevra kadishas consider it an honor not only to prepare the body for burial but also to dig the grave for a fellow Jew's body, particularly if the deceased was known to be a righteous person.
Many burial societies hold one or two annual fast days, especially the 7th day of Adar, Yartzeit of Moshe Rabbeinu, and organize regular study sessions to remain up to date with the relevant articles of Jewish law. In addition, most burial societies also support families during the shiva by arranging prayer services, preparing meals, and providing other services for the mourners.

Preparing the body – ''taharah''

There are three major stages to preparing the body for burial: washing, ritual purification, and dressing. The term taharah is used to refer both to the overall process of burial preparation, and to the specific step of ritual purification.
Prayers and readings from Torah, including Psalms, Song of Songs, Isaiah, Ezekiel, and Zechariah are recited.
The general sequence of steps for performing taharah is as follows.
  1. The body is uncovered.
  2. The body is washed carefully. Any bleeding is stopped and all blood is buried along with the deceased. The body is thoroughly cleaned of dirt, body fluids, and solids, and anything else that may be on the skin. All jewelry is removed. The beard is not shaved.
  3. The body is purified with water, either by immersion in a mikveh or by pouring a continuous stream of 9 kavim in a prescribed manner.
  4. The body is dried.
  5. The body is dressed in traditional burial clothing. A sash is wrapped around the clothing and tied in the form of the Hebrew letter shin, representing Shaddai, one of the names of God.
  6. The casket is prepared by removing any linings or other embellishments. A winding sheet is laid into the casket. Outside the Land of Israel, if the deceased wore a prayer shawl during their life, one is laid in the casket for wrapping the body once it is placed therein. One of the corner fringes is removed from the shawl to signify that it will no longer be used for prayer and that the person is absolved from having to keep any of the mitsvot.
  7. The body is lifted into the casket and wrapped in the prayer shawl and sheet. Soil from the Land of Israel, if available, is placed over various parts of the body and sprinkled in the casket.
  8. The casket is closed.
After the closing of the casket, the ḥevra asks forgiveness of the deceased for any inadvertent lack of honor shown to the deceased in the preparation of the body for burial.
Caskets are not used in Israel or in many parts of the Diaspora, especially in Eastern Europe and Arab countries. Instead, the body is carried to the grave wrapped in a shroud and tallit and placed directly in the earth. In the Diaspora, in general, a casket is only used if required by local law. Traditionally, caskets are simple and made of unfinished wood; both wood with a finish and metal would slow the return of the body to dust. Strictly-observant practice avoids all metal; the wood parts of the casket are joined by wood dowels rather than nails.
There is no viewing of the body and no open casket at the funeral. Sometimes the immediate family verify the identity of the deceased and pay their final respects right before the funeral.
From death until burial, it is traditional for guards or shomrim "watchers" to stay with the deceased. It is traditional to recite Psalms during this time.

Funeral service

The Jewish funeral consists of a burial, also known as an interment. Cremation is forbidden. Burial is considered to allow the body to decompose naturally, therefore embalming is forbidden. Burial is intended to take place in as short an interval of time after death as possible. Displaying of the body prior to burial does not take place. Flowers are usually not found at a traditional Jewish funeral but may be seen at statesmen's or heroes' funerals in Israel.
In Israel, the Jewish funeral service usually commences at the burial ground. In the United States and Canada, the funeral service commences either at a funeral home or at the cemetery. Occasionally the service will commence at a synagogue. In the case of a prominent individual, the funeral service can begin at a synagogue or a yeshivah. If the funeral service begins at a point other than at the cemetery, the entourage accompanies the body in a procession to the cemetery. Usually the funeral ceremony is brief and includes the recitation of psalms, followed by a eulogy, and finishes with a traditional closing prayer, the El Maleh Rachamim. The funeral, the procession accompanying the body to the place of burial, and the burial, are referred to by the word levayah, meaning "escorting." Levayah also indicates "joining" and "bonding." This aspect of the meaning of levayah conveys the suggestion of a commonality among the souls of the living and the dead.
Yemenite Jews, prior to their return to the land of Israel, maintained an ancient practice during the funeral procession to halt at, at least, seven stations before the actual burial of the dead, beginning from the entrance of the house from whence the bier is taken, to the graveyard itself. This has come to be known as Ma'amad u'Moshav,, or "seven standings and sittings," and is mentioned in Tosefta Pesahim 2: 14–15, during which obsequies only men and boys thirteen years and older took part, but never women. At these stations, the bier is let down by the pallbearers upon the ground, and those accompanying will recite "Hatzur Tamim Pe'ulo," etc. "Ana Bakoach," etc., said in a doleful dirge-like melody, and which verses are followed by one of the party reading certain Midrashic literature and liturgical verse that speaks about death, and which are said to eulogize the deceased.

''Keriah''

The mourners traditionally make a tear in an outer garment before or at the funeral. The tearing is required to extend in length to a tefach, or what is equivalent to about. The tear should be on the left side for a parent, including foster parents, and on the right side for siblings, children, and spouses. Non-Orthodox Jews will often make the keriah in a small black ribbon that is pinned to the lapel rather than in the lapel itself.
In the instance when a mourner receives the news of the death and burial of a relative after an elapsed period of 30 days or more, there is no keriah, or tearing of the garment, except in the case of a parent. In the case of a parent, the tearing of the garment is to be performed no matter how long a period has elapsed between the time of death and the time of receiving the news.
If a child of the deceased needs to change clothes during the shiva period, they must tear the changed clothes. No other family member is required to tear changed clothes during shiva. Children of the deceased may never sew the torn clothes, but any other mourner may mend the clothing 30 days after the burial.