If I Had Legs I'd Kick You
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is a 2025 American psychological comedy-drama film, written and directed by Mary Bronstein. It stars Rose Byrne, Conan O'Brien, Danielle Macdonald, Delaney Quinn, Christian Slater, and A$AP Rocky.
The film had its world premiere at the Sundance Film Festival on January 24, 2025, and a domestic release by A24 on October 10, 2025, to positive reviews, with Byrne's performance receiving universal acclaim, earning her the Silver Bear for Best Leading Performance and a Golden Globe Award, alongside nominations for the Critics' Choice Award, Actor Award, BAFTA Award and Academy Award for Best Actress.
Plot
Linda is a psychotherapist stretched to her limits while caring for her daughter, who is suffering from a pediatric feeding disorder. The girl must be fed through a gastric feeding tube each night and eat enough during mealtimes to gain weight and recover. Her daughter is also enrolled in a day hospital program, which Linda must attend with her. Throughout the film, her daughter's name is never revealed, and her face isn't shown until the final scene.The family's situation takes a turn for the worse when their Montauk apartment is flooded after the ceiling collapses. With her ship captain husband Charles away on an eight-week work trip, Linda is forced to move with her daughter into a shabby motel. While living there, Linda meets snarky clerk Diana and her neighbor James, the motel superintendent.
Sharing a motel room, Linda struggles to sleep with the noise of her daughter's internal feeding pump. Sleep-deprived, she spends nights outside the room, drinking wine, smoking marijuana, listening to music, and eating junk food. During the night, Linda also leaves her daughter to check on the apartment repairs.
When Charles calls to check in on Linda, he continues to complain and criticize her, offering no support. Her daughter's doctor in the day hospital program is unsympathetic to Linda's struggles. She tells Linda that if her daughter does not meet her weight goals, her daughter's "level of care" will be reassessed. Linda feels she is being "set up to fail" and her daughter will not eat more while she has the safety net of the feeding tube.
Professionally, Linda is surrounded by difficult clients, including Caroline, a new mother who abandons her baby mid-session. When Caroline's husband refuses to leave work to retrieve the baby, Linda is forced to call the police to report the baby abandoned and Caroline missing. Linda seeks therapy from her own colleague; however, he is increasingly exasperated by her behavior.
One night, James attempts to bond with Linda. He helps her buy drugs on the dark web and offers emotional support to her daughter. Another night while smoking together, Linda brings James to her apartment to look at the collapsed ceiling, but he falls through the damaged floor and breaks his leg.
After being told that her daughter cannot make the necessary weight for her feeding tube to be removed, Linda causes a scene at the hospital program's group meeting for mothers in her situation, set off when the doctor tells the group that their children's illnesses are "not their fault." Linda confesses to her therapist that she aborted her first pregnancy years before having her daughter, and becomes distraught about her failings as a mother. He declines her as a patient, after she repeatedly crosses professional boundaries.
One night, Caroline appears at the motel lobby, asking for Linda and appearing to be in a state of mental crisis. As Linda tries to convince her to go to an emergency room, Caroline slaps her and runs away. Linda pursues, but Caroline ultimately disappears onto a dark nearby beach.
Returning to the motel, Linda removes the tube herself. She then hallucinates the surgical hole closing. When Linda heads back to her apartment, she discovers that Charles has suddenly returned home and repaired the hole in the ceiling. She tries to hide that she left their child alone at the motel, but James tells Charles the truth.
When Charles sees that Linda has removed the feeding tube, Linda runs to the beach. There, she repeatedly runs into the ocean, but is thrown back to shore by heavy waves. Linda wakes up on the beach with her daughter beside her. Linda promises her “I’ll be better” and the girl smiles.
Production
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You began filming in August and September 2023 in Montauk, New York after SAG-AFTRA granted an interim agreement for the film amidst the actors' strike. The film was Bronstein's first movie since her 2008 debut Yeast.Release
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You premiered at the Sundance Film Festival on January 24, 2025. It had its international premiere in February 2025 at the 75th Berlin International Film Festival in competition for the Golden Bear. Rose Byrne won the Silver Bear for Best Leading Performance. It was screened at the 52nd Telluride Film Festival, the 2025 Toronto International Film Festival, the 2025 New York Film Festival, and the 2025 BFI London Film Festival. The film was released by A24 on October 10, 2025.It was also screened in the 'Best of 2025' section of the 20th Rome Film Festival in October 2025.