Recurring Saturday Night Live characters and sketches introduced 1986–87

The following is a list of recurring Saturday Night Live characters and sketches introduced between October 11, 1986, and May 23, 1987, the twelfth season of SNL.

Lane Maxwell

A Dana Carvey character. Debuted October 11, 1986. Also known as Lane Maxwell, professional psychic.

Character

As described by his title, Lane is a psychic. He is featured in several different occasions for different reasons. He always wears a blue suit with black buttons and thick black framed glasses. He is rather sympathetic and is normally in a happy mood due to the fact that he is always as he describes it "two and one quarter steps ahead of everybody". He is the author of the fictitious autobiography I Knew You Were Gonna Buy This Book which is mentioned in all the sketches featuring him.

Appearances

Lane's first appearance was in a fictitious game show called "Quiz Masters" where he was in a question and answer game against a lady worker from the cracker jacks cookie company. When the game started he won by several points until he started predicting a "meteor" rather than the answers and his opponent starts winning, eventually a meteor falls on his opponent and kills her, making him the winner. He was later featured as a guest in the fictitious The Arsenio Hall Show parody The Carsenio Hall Show where an interview was made to him. He then received his very own talk show, which strangely ended when the creator of the show was accidentally killed by a falling skunk juggling shurikens on a spotlight, leading the show to be cancelled.

Catchphrases

I knew you were gonna say that!
I'm always two and one quarter steps ahead of everybody.
Marge Keister

A Jan Hooks character. Debuted October 11, 1986.
;Appearances:

Season	Episode	Host	Notes
12	October 11, 1986	Sigourney Weaver
12	November 15, 1986	Sam Kinison
12	December 13, 1986	Steve Guttenberg
12	February 14, 1987	Bronson Pinchot
12	May 16, 1987	Garry Shandling
13	October 24, 1987	Sean Penn
14	November 19, 1988	John Lithgow

The Church Lady

plays a "holier-than-thou" talk show host. Debuted October 11, 1986.

Church Chat

;Additional appearances

Church Potluck- December 6, 1986
Christmas Eve- December 17, 1988
The '90s- January 13, 1990
Weekend Update- November 5, 2016
Mr. Subliminal

Played by Kevin Nealon, he was originally an advertising executive who used subliminal messages to influence people. His appearances on Update utilized the subliminal technique to reveal what he is really thinking. For example, in an editorial on the 1994 caning of Michael Fay, he stated that:

"...the boy admitted to spray painting cars but he's only eighteen and young people often do stupid and impulsive things they later regret. I happen to think that everyone's entitled to one mistake. And I'm not saying there aren't those who I'd love to see get a good flogging, it's just that I'm afraid we've become so insensitive that we've learned to accept the idea of a man's beating in public."

Debuted October 11, 1986.

Derek Stevens ("She choppin’ broccoli...")

An English singer/songwriter is meeting with his record producers to go over his demo, which they soon discover he has failed to record. He insists, however, that he has written songs and he can play the songs for them live, and when they ask him to do so, he quickly makes up a song called "The Lady I Know". He then sits at the piano and begins sloppily faking his way through the song, which ultimately becomes an endless refrain of the chorus, "Choppin' broccoli" in various vocal styles and intonations. Upon hearing it, the producers appear to be awestruck by his lyrics, and are ecstatic about recording the song. Debuted October 11, 1986.
This song was originally in a Dana Carvey stand-up comedy routine about the vapidness of popular music.
Stevens returns in a later sketch, in which his producers try to convince him that his premature death might help the sales of his album. A fearful Stevens responds by hyping a new song, with the same tune as "The Lady I Know", but featuring different, though equally repetitive, lyrics and a similar endless refrain The producers are unimpressed.
Stevens appeared once more on SNL's 40th Anniversary Special in 2015, singing "Choppin' Broccoli".
;Appearances:

Season	Episode	Host	Notes
12	October 11, 1986	Sigourney Weaver
12	December 13, 1986	Steve Guttenberg
12	February 14, 1987	Bronson Pinchot
13	February 13, 1988	Justine Bateman

The Sweeney Sisters

The Sweeney Sisters are a duo of party singers, Candy Sweeney and her sister Liz. They normally sing cover medleys of pop standards in very high-pitched voices, a la Nick the Lounge Singer. Their medleys always include the first two lines of "The Trolley Song" about two-thirds of the way through, followed by a string of scatting. In these medleys the last word of one song often segues into the first word of the next. The sisters are usually seen performing at various U.S. hotel lounges, and their performances usually begin with "You must have pressed 'L' for 'lobby'! Come, join us." They were the opening act at the 40th Primetime Emmy Awards in 1988. Candy and Liz have a sister, Audrey, who was played by Mary Tyler Moore. The Sweeneys' accompanist, Skip St.Thomas, was played by composer Marc Shaiman. Debuted October 18, 1986.
;Appearances:

Season	Episode	Host	Notes
12	October 18, 1986	Malcolm-Jamal Warner
12	November 22, 1986	Robin Williams
12	December 20, 1986	William Shatner
12	January 31, 1987	Paul Shaffer
12	March 28, 1987	Charlton Heston
12	May 23, 1987	Dennis Hopper
13	November 14, 1987	Robert Mitchum
13	December 19, 1987	Paul Simon
14	December 17, 1988	Melanie Griffith
14	March 25, 1989	Mary Tyler Moore

Dr. Norma Hoeffering

A Nora Dunn character that debuted on October 18, 1986.
Background
Dr Norma is an expert in male-bashing books and she is openly lesbian but also willing to explore. Also she is the author of the noted bestseller Women Good Men Bad.
;Appearances

Season	Episode	Host	Notes
12	October 18, 1986	Malcolm Jamal-Warner	In the Donahue sketch
12	November 15, 1986	Sam Kinison	In the Love Connection sketch

Instant Coffee with Bill Smith

A Kevin Nealon sketch. Debuted October 18, 1986.

The Two Sammies

A Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon sketch. Debuted November 8, 1986.

Miss Connie's Fable Nook

A Jan Hooks, Dana Carvey, Dennis Miller and Kevin Nealon sketch. Debuted November 8, 1986.

The Jungle Room

A Phil Hartman and Jon Lovitz sketch.
;Appearances:

Season	Episode	Host	Notes
12	November 15, 1986	Sam Kinison
12	January 24, 1987	Joe Montana, Walter Payton
12	October 24, 1987	Sean Penn
12	December 5, 1987	Danny DeVito

Ching Chang

Dana Carvey played the character Ching Chang, a typical Asian-American stereotype whose only goal in life is to put his chickens in their own show on Broadway. Debuted November 15, 1986.
;Appearances:

Season	Episode	Host	Notes
12	November 15, 1986	Sam Kinison
12	January 31, 1987	Paul Shaffer
12	February 28, 1987	Valerie Bertinelli
12	May 9, 1987	Mark Harmon
13	November 21, 1987	Candice Bergen
16	November 10, 1990	Jimmy Smits
26	October 21, 2000	Dana Carvey

The NFL Today

A parody of The NFL Today, with Phil Hartman impersonating Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder and Kevin Nealon impersonating Brent Musburger.
;Appearances:

Season	Episode	Host	Notes
12	January 24, 1987	Joe Montana, Walter Payton
13	October 17, 1987	Steve Martin
13	January 30, 1988	Carl Weathers
15	April 14, 1990	Corbin Bernsen

Mace

A Phil Hartman sketch. Debuted January 24, 1987.
;Appearances:

Season	Episode	Host	Notes
12	January 24, 1987	Joe Montana, Walter Payton
13	November 21, 1987	Candice Bergen
15	March 17, 1990	Rob Lowe
16	March 23, 1991	Jeremy Irons