Cascade Model of Relational Dissolution
The Cascade Model of Relational Dissolution is a relational communications theory that proposes four critically negative behaviors that lead to the breakdown of marital and romantic relationships. The model is the work of psychological researcher John Gottman, a professor at the University of Washington and founder of The Gottman Institute, and his research partner, Robert W. Levenson. This theory focuses on the negative influence of verbal and nonverbal communication habits on marriages and other relationships. Gottman's model uses a metaphor that compares the four negative communication styles that lead to a relationship's breakdown to the biblical Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, wherein each behavior, or horseman, compounds the problems of the previous one, leading to total breakdown of communication.
Background
Gottman's and Levenson's research focuses on differentiating failed and successful marriages and notes that nonverbal emotional displays progress in a linear pattern, creating an emotional and physical response that leads to withdrawal. Until the development of the model, little research had been conducted on specific interactive behaviors and processes that result in marital dissatisfaction, separation, and divorce. Gottman's and Levenson's research indicated that not all negative interactions, like anger, are predictive of relational separation and divorce. But it shows a strong correlation between the presence of contempt in a marriage and the couple's likelihood of divorce.Gottman's and Levenson's research notes that the "cascade toward relational dissolution" can be predicted by the regulation of couples' positive and negative interactions, with couples that regulate their positive-to-negative interactions significantly less likely to experience the cascade. This research has been furthered by looking at ways to intervene in the cascade, and its application to other types and models of relationships.
Four Horsemen of Relational Apocalypse
Gottman's and Levenson's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse theory centers around the concept that the behaviors below work in a cascade model, in which one leads to the other, creating a continued environment of negativity and hostility. This creates marital dissatisfaction, leading to considerations of marital dissolution, separation, and permanent dissolution.Horseman One: criticism
is the first indication of the Cascade Model and is an attack on the partner's character. Gottman defines criticism as a type of complaint that blames or attacks a partner's personality or character. Critical comments often materialize in chained comments and are communicated in broad, absolute statements like "‘you never’" or "you always."’ Research indicates that non-regulated couples, or couples whose interaction trended more negative, engaged more frequently in criticism and were more likely to begin the Cascade of Dissolution. Gottman's and Levenson's research found that wives' criticism correlated to separation and possible dissolution, but this was not so with husbands.One possible solution to avoiding criticism is to grow the culture in a marriage to include a well-held vulnerability. This means that those in the marriage should feel safe enough to express their opinions and frustrations without fear of rejection. Criticism does not allow partners to be vulnerable with each other, and their relationship can quickly deteriorate as a result. One may consider using more "I" statements and expressive language in order to overcome criticism. An example of an "I" statement is: "When I am feeling frustrated, I tend to become more irritable and begin to hyper-focus on your flaws to blame someone for my negative feelings." "I" statements allow a spouse to take responsibility for their feelings rather than blaming the other spouse for their perspective and emotional reactions. They build emotional intelligence, self-reflection, and help prevent cycles of criticism and defensiveness.
Horseman Two: defensiveness
is a reaction to pervasive criticism that often results in responding to criticism with more criticism, and sometimes contempt, and the second level of the Cascade Model. Defensiveness is a protective behavior and is indicated by shifting blame and avoiding responsibility, often in an attempt to defend against the first two horsemen. Defensiveness stems from an internal response to protect one's pride and self-worth. The body may go into fight-or-flight mode to protect against a perceived threat in the defensive stage. Fowler and Dillow also characterize defensiveness as using counterattack behaviors such as whining, making negative assumptions about the other's feelings, and denials of responsibility. Gottman's and Levenson's research found defensiveness to be strongest among men.Horseman Three: contempt
is the result of repetitive criticism and is driven by a lack of admiration and respect. It is the third level of the Cascade Model. Contempt is expressed verbally through mocking, sarcasm, and indignation, with an attempt to claim moral superiority over one's partner. It can also be indicated nonverbally, as with eye-rolling and scoffing. Gottman's and Levenson's research found contempt to be the strongest predictor of relational dissolution, and the strongest overall predictor for women.Horseman Four: stonewalling
is the final phase of the model and is a reaction to the previous three behaviors. Stonewalling occurs when parties create mental and physical distance to avoid conflict by appearing busy, responding in grunts, and disengaging from the communication process. Gottman's and Levenson's research found it to be most common among men and a very challenging behavior to redirect once it becomes habitual.Gottman's research in predicting divorce
Predicting separation, and how divorce can be avoided
Gottman and his team did more extensive research in follow-up to this study, testing whether or not couples who exhibited these “horseman” were more or less likely to divorce. In a longitudinal study, Gottman and his team were able to predict with 93% accuracy how many couples would divorce from their observations.They found that those couples who ended up separating had the following attributes in their marriage:
- Harsh Startup: In arguments or disagreements, those couples who participated in harsh startups were those who begin an argument with great aggression, refused to see another's point of view, or brought issues up at inappropriate times.
- The Four Horsemen: as above.
- Emotional Flooding: This condition occurs when one partner feels overwhelmed, and their brain begins to protect itself by shutting down. They physically and mentally cannot process any more what the other is saying. This may lead to the person who is not flooded to think the flooded person is not listening or does not care, when in fact, their system has been overwhelmed. This may occur when one partner brings up a controversial topic or points out many flaws in another in a short period of time.
- Body Language: Whether the couple is sending mixed messages, participating in a double-bind kind of thinking, or sending hostile nonverbal cues, destruction occurs.
- Repair Attempts that were not accepted: A repair attempt is anything that one partner tries to bring the relationship back into control. This could be de-escalation tactics, bringing up something about which you both stand on common ground about, or even an inside joke. These attempts, when accepted and acted upon, encourage intimacy and affection in a marriage and allow the situation to deescalate. Those who do not participate in this tactic will have a greater likelihood of an argument or fight escalating out of control.
- A Negative View on their marriage and their overall happiness together: Gottman found that those in the study who ended up divorcing or having low marital satisfaction thought about landmarks in their marriages as negative. The landmark moments that most people think of with fondness, such as their engagement, wedding, reception, birth of a child, etc., were almost all met with criticism from those in unhappy marriages. These people had trained their brain that their partner had never met their needs, and there had never been happiness in their relationship.
- Belligerence: Bad couples will sometimes try to provoke the other party with statements like "You think you're tough? Then do it!"
Methodology and regulated vs. non-regulated couples