Etiquette
Etiquette can be defined as a set of norms of personal behavior in polite society, usually occurring in the form of an ethical code of the expected and accepted social behaviors that accord with the conventions and norms observed and practiced by a society, a social class, or a social group. In modern English usage, the French word étiquette dates from the year 1750 and also originates from the French word for "ticket," possibly symbolizing a person's entry into society through proper behavior. There are many important historical figures that have helped to shape the meaning of the term as well as provide varying perspectives.
History
In, the Ancient Egyptian vizier Ptahhotep wrote The Maxims of Ptahhotep, a didactic book of precepts extolling civil virtues such as truthfulness, self-control, and kindness towards other people. Recurrent thematic motifs in the maxims include learning by listening to other people, being mindful of the imperfection of human knowledge, that avoiding open conflict whenever possible should not be considered weakness, and that the pursuit of justice should be foremost. Yet, in human affairs, the command of a god ultimately prevails in all matters. Some of Ptahhotep's maxims indicate a person's correct behaviours in the presence of great personages, and instructions on how to choose the right master and how to serve him. Other maxims teach the correct way to be a leader through openness and kindness, that greed is the base of all evil and should be guarded against, and that generosity towards family and friends is praiseworthy.Confucius was a Chinese intellectual and philosopher whose works emphasized personal and governmental morality, correctness of social relationships, the pursuit of justice in personal dealings, and sincerity in all personal relations.
Baldassare Castiglione, count of Casatico, was an Italian courtier and diplomat, soldier, and author of The Book of the Courtier, an exemplar courtesy book dealing with questions of the etiquette and morality of the courtier during the Italian Renaissance.
Louis XIV, King of France, used a codified etiquette to tame the French nobility and assert his supremacy as the absolute monarch of France. In consequence, the ceremonious royal court favourably impressed foreign dignitaries whom the king received at the seat of French government, the Palace of Versailles, to the south-west of Paris.
Benjamin Franklin, an American inventor and Founding Father, contributed to the American understanding of etiquette through his emphasis on practical morality and social harmony. In his autobiography published in 1791, Franklin outlined a personal system of self-improvement centered around thirteen virtues, including sincerity, humility, and temperance. He viewed etiquette as a means of fostering effective communication, avoiding unnecessary conflict, and promoting cooperation in both personal and public life. Franklin distrusted ostentatious formality and believed manners should serve a purpose rooted in usefulness, sincerity, and democratic ideals.
George Washington, the first President of the United States and commander of the Continental Army during the American Revolutionary War, was heavily influenced in his youth by a set of social maxims titled Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation. Adapted from an earlier French text, these 110 rules emphasized humility, respect for others, restraint, and the importance of maintaining decorum in public life. Though Washington did not write the rules himself, copying them by hand served as early moral training and significantly shaped his public persona. The maxims promoted the idea that civil behavior was a reflection of personal virtue and that etiquette could serve as a tool for cultivating leadership and moral character. Despite George Washington's strong public support for education, many of his contemporaries criticized his intellect, labeling him as poorly educated and lacking eloquence. Figures like Aaron Burr, Thomas Jefferson, and John Adams described him as unrefined, grammatically weak, and intellectually limited. Due to Washington's personal sensitivity to the level of his academic exposure, these critiques only increased the motivation to copy the 110 rules. Although there may not be any evidence of George Washington verbally passing on the maxims, his actions and character served as a physical example of these beliefs.
Politeness
In the 18th century, during the Age of Enlightenment, the adoption of etiquette was a self-conscious process for acquiring the conventions of politeness and the normative behaviours which symbolically identified the person as a genteel member of the upper class. To identify with the social élite, the upwardly mobile middle class and the bourgeoisie adopted the behaviours and the artistic preferences of the upper class. To that end, socially ambitious people of the middle classes occupied themselves with learning, knowing, and practising the rules of social etiquette, such as the arts of elegant dress and gracious conversation, when to show emotion, and courtesy with and towards women.In the early 18th century, Anthony Ashley-Cooper, 3rd Earl of Shaftesbury, wrote influential essays that defined politeness as the art of being pleasing in company; and discussed the function and nature of politeness in the social discourse of a commercial society:
Periodicals, such as The Spectator, a daily publication founded in 1711 by Joseph Addison and Richard Steele, regularly advised their readers on the etiquette required of a gentleman, a man of good and courteous conduct; their stated editorial goal was "to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality… to bring philosophy out of the closets and libraries, schools and colleges, to dwell in clubs and assemblies, at tea-tables and coffeehouses"; to which end, the editors published articles written by educated authors, which provided topics for civil conversation, and advice on the requisite manners for carrying a polite conversation, and for managing social interactions.
Conceptually allied to etiquette is the notion of civility which for socially ambitious men and women also became an important personal quality to possess for social advancement. In the event, gentlemen's clubs, such as Harrington's Rota Club, published an in-house etiquette that codified the civility expected of the members. Besides The Spectator, other periodicals sought to infuse politeness into English coffeehouse conversation, the editors of The Tatler were explicit that their purpose was the reformation of English manners and morals; to those ends, etiquette was presented as the virtue of morality and a code of behaviour.
In the mid-18th century, the first, modern English usage of etiquette was by Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield, in the book Letters to His Son on the Art of Becoming a Man of the World and a Gentleman, a correspondence of more than 400 letters written from 1737 until the death of his son, in 1768; most of the letters were instructive, concerning varied subjects that a worldly gentleman should know. The letters were first published in 1774, by Eugenia Stanhope, the widow of the diplomat Philip Stanhope, Chesterfield's bastard son. Throughout the correspondence, Chesterfield endeavoured to decouple the matter of social manners from conventional morality, with perceptive observations that pragmatically argue to Philip that mastery of etiquette was an important means for social advancement, for a man such as he. Chesterfield's elegant, literary style of writing epitomised the emotional restraint characteristic of polite social intercourse in 18th-century society:
In the 19th century, Victorian era etiquette developed into a complicated system of codified behaviours, which governed the range of manners in society—from the proper language, style, and method for writing letters, to correctly using cutlery at table, and to the minute regulation of social relations and personal interactions between men and women and among the social classes.
In the 21st century, specifically in the early 2020s as digital communication became more readily available and used in everyday life, the notion of digital etiquette, or netiquette, evolved into a flexible, socially negotiated code of conduct guiding behavior in online spaces. Unlike traditional etiquette, which often revolved around visible symbols of status and formal conduct, digital etiquette today is platform-dependent, highly situational, and subtly influenced by unspoken social norms. For instance, a video call may press for visible presence and active engagement such as contributing ideas or giving visual cues of attention, while sending an email might demand carefully crafted language, formal greetings, and rapid response times to signal competence and respect. An essential aspect of today's netiquette is the management of presence and attention. The expectation to be responsive has become a symbol of respect, while behaviors such as multitasking during meetings or disabling cameras may be interpreted as disrespect or disengagement.
Manners
Sociological perspectives
In a society, manners are described as either good manners or as bad manners to indicate whether a person's behaviour is acceptable to the cultural group. As such, manners enable ultrasociality and are integral to the functioning of the social norms and conventions that are informally enforced through self-regulation. The perspectives of sociology indicate that manners are a means for people to display their social status, and a means of demarcating, observing, and maintaining the boundaries of social identity and of social class.In The Civilizing Process, sociologist Norbert Elias said that manners arose as a product of group living, and persist as a way of maintaining social order. Manners proliferated during the Renaissance in response to the development of the 'absolute state'—the progression from small-group living to large-group living characterised by the centralized power of the State. The rituals and manners associated with the royal court of England during that period were closely bound to a person's social status. Manners demonstrate a person's position within a social network, and a person's manners are a means of negotiation from that social position.
From the perspective of public health, in The Healthy Citizen, Alana R. Petersen and Deborah Lupton said that manners assisted the diminishment of the social boundaries that existed between the public sphere and the private sphere of a person's life, and so gave rise to "a highly reflective self, a self who monitors their behavior with due regard for others with whom he or she interacts, socially"; and that "the public behavior of individuals came to signify their social standing; a means of presenting the self and of evaluating others, and thus the control of the outward self was vital."
Sociologist Pierre Bourdieu applied the concept of habitus to define the societal functions of manners. The habitus is the set of mental attitudes, personal habits, and skills that a person possesses—their dispositions of character that are neither self-determined, nor pre-determined by the external environment, but which are produced and reproduced by social interactions—and are "inculcated through experience and explicit teaching", yet tend to function at the subconscious level. Manners are likely to be a central part of the dispositions that guide a person's ability to decide upon socially-compliant behaviours.