Bondage (BDSM)
Bondage, in the BDSM subculture, is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation. A partner may be physically restrained in a variety of ways, including the use of rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or self-adhering bandage.
Bondage itself does not necessarily imply sadomasochism. Bondage may be used as an end in itself, as in the case of rope bondage and breast bondage. It may also be used as a part of sex or in conjunction with other BDSM activities. The letter "B" in the acronym "BDSM" comes from the word "bondage". Sexuality and erotica are an important aspect of bondage, but are often not the end in itself. Aesthetics also plays an important role in bondage.
A common reason for the active partner to tie up their partner is so both may gain pleasure from the restrained partner's submission and the feeling of the temporary transfer of control and power. For sadomasochistic people, bondage is often used as a means to an end, where the restrained partner is more accessible to other sadomasochistic behaviour. However, bondage can also be used for its own sake. The restrained partner can derive sensual pleasure from the feeling of helplessness and immobility, and the active partner can derive visual pleasure and satisfaction from seeing their partner tied up.
Bedroom
Many couples incorporate bondage into their sex lives, often sporadically but sometimes more regularly, and find sexual bondage to be relationship-affirming. This sometimes takes the form of a sex game or sexual fantasy enactment. Bedroom bondage games may be used for sexual arousal or as a form of foreplay, that requires and implies a level of trust and a surrender of control by the restrained to the active partner. The restrained partner surrenders control to the other partner. This surrender of control happens voluntarily and under mutual understanding and consent.The main feature of sexual bondage is that it renders the restrained person vulnerable to a variety of sex acts, including some that they may be inhibited from otherwise engaging. The restrained partner is dependent for their sexual satisfaction on the actions of their partner, who may treat the restrained partner as their sex object.
There are many reasons why people allow themselves to be bound. Some people feel a kind of freedom during corporal passivity, they can concentrate on their inner spirituality and feel at peace, as a participant in a study about motivation for bondage explained: "Some people have to be tied up to be free". Others experience helplessness, struggle against their bonds, and feel a degree of masochistic pleasure from the restraint and pain, as well as being unobstructed for erotic stimulation by their partner.
Bondage can be relatively simple to apply, enabling improvisation using household items and little experience, though sophisticated commercial apparatus is available. Bedroom bondage is usually mild bondage, with one partner voluntarily being put into restraints by being tied up or handcuffed. It may involve simple hand ties, bed restraints, being tied to a chair, etc. Blindfolds are a common part of bedroom play. The restrained partner may then be sexually stimulated by masturbation, manual sex, oral sex, a vibrator, intercourse or other sex acts. Bondage can also be used for purposes other than sexual foreplay, for example, it may be used in erotic tickling or for sexual teasing.
The free partner may derive erotic pleasure or achieve sexual arousal from being in a dominant situation, while the tied partner may achieve arousal from being in a largely "helpless" position in the hands of a trusted partner. Either way, the partners are usually acting out their sexual fantasies.
In 1995, psychologists Kurt Ernulf and Sune Innala from Sweden published an analysis based on answers from members of the bondage-oriented Usenet group alt.sex.bondage. Most of the answers were from men. In 71% of the answers, the active role in bondage was played by heterosexual men, 11% by heterosexual women and 12% by homosexual men. 29% of the heterosexual men, 89% of the heterosexual women and 88% of the homosexual men played the passive role. A third of the people who answered said they practised bondage in connection with sadomasochistic activities or at least thought bondage and sadomasochism belonged together.
In a survey of American students conducted by a magazine in 1996, 24% of the people who replied claimed to have sexual fantasies involving bondage. This was claimed by 40% of the homosexual and bisexual men, 32% of the lesbian and bisexual women, 24% of the heterosexual women and 21% of the heterosexual men. 48% of the lesbian and bisexual women, 34% of the homosexual and bisexual men, and 25% of the heterosexual men and women had had practical experiences of bondage. In a survey conducted in the US in 1985, about half of the men considered bondage erotic, but according to the 1993 publication Janus Report on Sexual Behavior, only 11% of the representatives had had practical experiences of bondage.
Types
Because of the diversity in its forms, bondage can be divided into various types based on its motivation.Bondage for a purpose
This form of bondage is the best known in BDSM and denotes restraining the passive partner for an ulterior purpose, such as making them more accessible for a spanking session. Bondage for its own sake is not considered in this category.Decorative bondage
In this form of bondage, the restrained partner is bound for a decorative purpose, to be used as an aesthetic object, for example for erotic photography, or a form of human furniture in a BDSM party.Torture bondage
In this form of bondage, the restrained partner is purposefully bound in an uncomfortable or painful position, for example as a punishment in connection of a dominant/submissive sexual play. Almost any form of bondage, when the restrained partner is left tied up long enough, can be used as torture bondage. How long this punitive form of bondage is used varies greatly, however in bondage erotica such as John Willie's Sweet Gwendoline or Japanese bondage photography, it is often extensive and long-lasting.Film bondage
Film bondage is a form of completely non-violent bondage for aesthetic purposes only. In this form of bondage, the restrained partner is bound lightly and is capable of escaping without great effort.Meditative bondage
This form of bondage is seldom used in Western bondage. However, in Japanese bondage, it is an important aspect, possibly originally having evolved from a religious tradition, where the interest is in the restrained partner's spiritual situation rather than their corporal situation.Public
A subculture of gay men, sometimes called leathermen, were among the first groups to make obvious hints of their taste in bondage in public spaces. Other groups, including pansexual and heterosexual BDSM enthusiasts, later followed suit. Early public displays were mainly limited to the wearing of certain fashion items, such as collars and cuffs.Over time, more explicit public displays arose. The most prominent examples are LGBT street fairs, such as the famous Folsom Street Fair. These events are few in number and highly controversial in most regions.
Exhibitionist displays are another manifestation of public bondage. They are typically undertaken by individuals who fetishize public displays of sex and sexuality. However, some exhibitionist bondage is done as a social or political statement. This could be an effort to raise awareness of alternative sexuality or a political metaphor for oppression.
BDSM clubs feature semi-public bondage. While the clubs and events are considered private, play parties feature open spaces where play occurs that allows other attendees to watch scenes in progress. Public play of this variety is more rooted in social activity and the safe space afforded by such clubs than exhibitionist fetishism.
BDSM
Bondage features prominently in BDSM scenes and sexual roleplay. It is the best-known aspect of BDSM even outside the BDSM scene, and does not require a BDSM-oriented sexual identity to practice. People who routinely engage in conventional sex sometimes become proficient in the technical aspects of tying their partners up.Bondage has a sexual appeal to people of all sexes and all sexual orientations, in a switch, dominant or submissive role.
There are also some common fantasy settings in which bondage may be a component. These include:
- Rape, ravishment or abduction: The top fictitiously seizes or abducts the consenting bottom and has complete control.
- Dominance/submission: A training session occurs in which rewards for obedience and punishment for defiance are given. Erotic humiliation is usually involved.
- Predicament bondage: In it a person is restrained with an option of placing themself in one of a pair of uncomfortable positions, such that the person keeps shifting between the two positions from time to time.
A large variety of bondage equipment is available for use in BDSM scenes for a number of results. These include rope, straps, or harnesses which can be used to hold limbs together; spreader bars, X-frames which can be used to keep limbs apart; the body or limbs can be tied to an object, such as to chairs or stocks; the body may be suspended from another object, as in suspension bondage; or it may used to restrict normal movement, such as use of hobble skirts, handcuffs, or pony harness. Bondage may also be used to wrap the whole body or a part of it in bindings, such as cloth or plastic as well as sleepsack bondage.
One of the purposes of bondage in BDSM is to restrain a person in a BDSM position. This may involve simply tying the hands together in front or behind. Other positions involve the use of a waist belt to anchor the hands to the front, back or sides. Other popular positions are the spread eagle, with the limbs splayed out and fastened by wrists and ankles to bedposts, door frame or some other anchoring point; the hogtie, which secures each wrist to its corresponding ankle behind the back ; the balltie, which secures wrists to ankles, in front, with the knees drawn up to the chest; the crotch rope, which involves pulling a rope between the labia to apply pressure to the female genitals. Sometimes a knot is placed in the rope at the position of the clitoris to intensify the sensation. A crotch rope can also be used on males, either placing pressure directly on the scrotum or including a tie to capture the scrotum. Other positions include the reverse prayer position, and an over-arm tie, in which the arms are brought over the head, and the wrists fastened together behind the head and then by a length of rope, chain or strapping to a belt at the waist.
The types of restraints used in bondage include rope, which is often preferred because of its flexibility. Rigging, however, requires considerable skill and practice to do safely. Other types of restraints include chains, handcuffs, thumbcuffs and belly chains. Institutional restraints, such as straitjackets may be used in some roleplays, and purpose-made bondage gear, such as monogloves, sleepsacks, bondage hooks and bondage tables, are also available.
Some BDSM play parties offer "bondage workshops", where couples, or people otherwise consenting with each other, can practice tying under the instruction and supervision of an experienced bondage rigger.