Open relationship
An open relationship is an intimate relationship that is sexually or romantically non-monogamous. An open relationship generally indicates a relationship where there is a primary emotional and intimate relationship between partners, who agree to at least the possibility of sexual or emotional intimacy with other people. The term "open relationship" is sometimes used interchangeably with the term polyamory, but the two concepts are not identical.
Open relationships include any type of romantic relationship that is open.
An "open" relationship means one or more parties have permission to be romantically or sexually involved with people outside of the relationship. This is opposed to the traditionally "closed" relationship, where both parties agree on being with one another exclusively. The concept of an open relationship has been recognized since the 1970s.
Types
To a large degree, open relationships are a generalization of the concept of a relationship beyond monogamous relationships. A form of open relationship is the open marriage, in which the participants in a marriage have an open relationship.There are several different styles of open relationships. Some examples include:
- Multi-partner relationships, between three or more partners where a sexual relationship does not occur between all of the parties involved.
- Hybrid relationships, when one partner is nonmonogamous and the other is monogamous.
- [|Swinging], in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity.
Swinging
Swinging is a form of open relationship in which the partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others at the same time. Swingers may regard the practice as a recreational or social activity that adds variety or excitement into their otherwise conventional sex lives or for curiosity. Swingers who engage in casual sex maintain that sex among swingers is often more frank and deliberative and therefore more honest than infidelity. Some couples see swinging as a healthy outlet and means to strengthen their relationship.Open marriage
An open marriage, sometimes referred to as consensual non-monogamy or CNM, is a type of marriage wherein the involved parties unequivocally consent to their partners entering or engaging in romantic and/or sexual relationships with other people.Polyamory
Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. While "open relationship" is sometimes used as a synonym for "polyamory" or "polyamorous relationship", the terms are not synonymous; polyamorous people may choose between open relationships or polyfidelity. The "open" in "open relationship" refers to the sexual aspect of a relationship, whereas "polyamory" refers to allowing bonds to form as additional long-term relationships.The terms "polyamory" and "friends with benefits" are fairly recent, having come about within the past few decades though the concept is as old as society.
Prevalence
Some believe that open relationships occur more frequently in certain demographics, such as the young rather than the old in America, including, more specifically, the college-educated middle-class rather than the uneducated working-class, or people of certain ethnic and/or other racial minorities. According to the 2012 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 4% of respondents reported being in an open relationship. It was also found that males and LGBT individuals are more likely to report being in an open relationship, with 33% of gay men, 23% of bisexual men, 5% of lesbian females, and 22% of bisexual females reporting an open relationship.A 1974 study showed that male students who either cohabit or live in a communal group are more likely to become involved in open relationships than females, and are still more interested in the concept than females even if not participating in open relationships. A survey taken by gay men's "health and life magazine", FS Magazine, of the 1,006 gay men they surveyed 41% are in, or have previously experienced, an open relationship. Of the men who are in an open relationship, 75% believe that open relationships are great.
Many couples within open relationships are dual-career, meaning that both primary partners have a stable job and/or a career. Both men and women in these, especially in closed groups, are also more likely to be in managerial jobs. Most also are either childfree, or post child-rearing.
Reward vs. risk
Reasons for entering an open relationship
An open relationship may form for various reasons. These include:- liking another person but not wanting to end the old relationship
- pressure or coercion from the partner wishing for an open relationship
- being non-monogamous by nature
- a difference emerging between two people in a relationship
- one partner realizing that they are unable to fulfill the other's needs
- varying sex drive between partners
- one or both partners desiring more freedom, companionship, intellectual variety, a variety of sexual partners, getting ahead career-wise or maintaining relationships
- a need for challenge: some people feel that their relationship is inadequate unless they are being challenged. Open relationships may create a sense of jealousy, attachment, or possessiveness, all of which are challenges for a relationship to work through. These emotions can also lead to greater self-awareness which may be seen as satisfying to those in open relationships. Some research has found that individuals in open relationships report less jealousy compared to those in monogamous relationships.
- the enjoyment of new relationship energy, the state of heightened emotional and sexual receptivity and excitement experienced during the formation of a new physical relationship
- being able to meet other couples and individuals with a similar outlook with whom the participants can connect with on an intellectual and emotional level
- being in a relationship of convenience, that is, one that is not primarily based on mutual feeling of love towards each other, but rather on economic or social factors
- distance – when partners live in separate parts of the world for part or all of the time
- sex may be more pleasing, and the participants may engage in it more frequently than those in an average couple
- issues with sexual compatibility
- increased trust that comes with boundary setting and communication
- increased intimacy that comes with open discussion around sexual desires and experiences
Reasons for avoiding an open relationship
Many couples consider open relationships, but choose not to follow through with the idea. If a person attempts to approach their committed monogamous partner about transitioning to an open relationship, the monogamous partner may convince or coerce them to either stay monogamous or pursue a new partner. There may also be concern that when beginning an open relationship, a partner may become only concerned in their personal development and pay less attention to their partner.Jealousy is often present in monogamous relationships, and adding one or more partners to the relationship may cause it to increase. Results of some studies have suggested that jealousy remains a problem in open relationships because the actual involvement of a third party is seen as a trigger. In Constantine & Constantine, the researchers found that 80% of participants in open marriages had experienced jealousy at one point or another.
Consensual nonmonogamous relationships have negative stereotypes around them, including less sexually fulfilling, more sexually risky, and less moral. These stereotypes are reinforced by mononormativity, which is the belief that monogamous relationships are the most natural and culturally acceptable relationship.
Cultural pressure may also dissuade initiating or switching to an open relationship. There is a commonly held societal stereotype that those involved in open relationships are less committed or mature than those who are in monogamous relationships. Films, media, and self-help books present the message that to desire more than one partner means not having a "true" relationship. In the post-WWII 1950s-1970s, it was traditional to "date around" until ready to start "going steady" ; since then, non-exclusive dating around has lost favour and going directly to steady has been elevated instead. Desiring an open relationship in these days often claimed to be a phase that a person is passing through before being ready to "settle down". The logistics of an open relationship may be difficult to cope with, especially if the partners reside together, split finances, own property, or parent children.
Sexually transmitted infection
Any sexual contact outside of a strictly monogamous or polyfidelitous relationship increases the possibility that one member of the group will contract a sexually transmitted infection and pass it into the group.Neither barrier device use nor more vigilant STI testing and vaccination can fully eliminate such risk, but can reduce the statistical increase attributable to nonmonogamy. Nevertheless, using data from the 2012 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, Levine et al. found that individuals in open relationships reported more condom use in both vaginal and anal intercourse compared to monogamous couples.
The development of PrEP has led to a decrease in risk for HIV infection by as much as 92%. If both partners are on PrEP, risk of HIV infection is diminished, even if there are multiple partners.