Off the derech
Off the derech is a Yeshiva-English expression used to describe the state of a Jew who has left an Orthodox way of life or community, and whose new lifestyle is secular, non-Jewish, or of a non-Orthodox form of Judaism, as part of a contemporary social phenomenon tied to the digital, postmodern and post-postmodern eras. In its broadest sense, it can also include those changing to a milder form of Orthodoxy. Despite the term's pejorative and controversially dichotomic and definitive nature, it has become popular in use among Orthodox people, is found in mainstream literature, and has also been reclaimed by some OTD individuals.
Leaving Orthodox Judaism, especially the Haredi community, is largely reported to be a difficult experience emotionally, socially, and financially, often involving multiple risks and losses. The combined findings of a significant body of studies which have examined a wide and varied array of reasons given for leaving suggest that exiting is a complex, multifaceted phenomenon, its motivations of which can be defined in several ways: disaffiliation as immigration, as apostasy, as liberation from a coercive group, and as standing for one’s identity. A common denominator between the narratives is an intensity in the individuals' desire to leave, underscored by their readiness to pay the high price involved.
Aggregations of ex-Orthodox individuals may comprise a social movement, though there is no organized effort to convince people to leave, making it more a social phenomenon than a movement. Reports show the rates of attrition from Orthodox Judaism in the US and the UK to be at 33%–52%, and US data appears to show a decline when comparing those born between with those born before 1990. Similar trends in leaving religion exist in Islam, the LDS movement, Hinduism, Pentecostal Christianity, Roman Catholicism, and evangelical Christianity.
The OTD phenomenon is of interest to Orthodox Jews, non-Orthodox Jews, members of the general public, and exiters themselves. This interest has generated many narratives expressed in the form of memoirs, podcasts, studies, documentaries, TV, and opinion pieces. While initial memoirs and documentaries of exiters focused on those leaving Hasidic communities, experiences of individuals from other Orthodox communities differ in several significant ways.
Background
Terminology
Derech, Hebrew for “path” or “way”, bears a religious connotation: those who follow the derech ascribe to both ancient and modern rabbinic authority which determines a way of life, both communal and private. In Orthodox Judaism, halakha is viewed as the ultimate authority on how to lead a good and morally upstanding life, and living by its code demonstrates one's commitment and is necessary for belonging within certain communities. The term "off the derech" originated within Haredi communities to describe a physical move away from family and peers as well as abandonment of religious, ethical, and cultural principles. With the high level of existential importance for the individual and the community as a whole to stay on the derech, the term in its original setting is one of disapproval, even when not translated into active shunning of the individual.Some exiters reject the term because of its history and meaning within Orthodox communities, and some reject it as giving credence to perceived religious superiority or a false binary of being either on or off the prescribed path with no room for any deviation. But many exiters reclaim it and use it as convenient shorthand or as a defiant phrase, celebrating its subversive meaning as an antidote to the stigmatization it connotes. Alternatives used are XO, signifying "ex-Orthodox" while also playing on a term for "love"; ex-Jew, found in blogs; ex-Hasidic or ex-Haredi, offering a more specific indication of one’s native community; and Apikores, derived from the Greek philosopher Epicurus. The last term, first invoked in rabbinic Mishnaic literature and often used as a slur by community members, has extended in meaning to loosely include anyone who expresses a view regarded not only as heretical but even as heterodox.
"Off the derech" has become the most commonly used term among Jews of current or previous Orthodox affiliation to describe an act of departure from a Jewish religious lifestyle, and it is also increasingly used within mainstream parlance, blogging, journalism, and scholarship to identify a brand of secularism born out of a lived experience within a rigidly Orthodox home and community.
In Modern Hebrew, the process of halting or decreasing religious observance is known as yetziah besheelah. This term, loosely translated as "leaving in question," plays on "returning in repentance", the popular term for those who move in the other direction by becoming Orthodox after being raised without Orthodoxy.
History of religious attrition
Movement away from traditional religious practices and communities toward secularity has a rich tradition in modern Jewish and Jewish American literature, much of which is echoed in the OTD phenomenon. The Haskalah, the Jewish Enlightenment in Europe that ran parallel in time to the European Enlightenment, was similarly a determined move toward secularization that challenged rabbinic authority, though on a greater scale. Comparable to the OTD phenomenon in the Digital Age, the Haskalah arose in an era of unprecedented opportunities for participation in the non-Jewish world and access to diverse bodies of knowledge. In 19th-century Europe, more girls than accounted for may have voluntarily left Orthodox Judaism, since many stories of girls being abducted by convents may actually have been voluntary defection. Early 20th-century American Jewish immigrant stories consistently tell of an initial departure from a native community, usually located in Eastern Europe or Russia, followed by a secondary departure from their religious and cultural practices.Nevertheless, OTD literature distinguishes itself as "a movement that originates in the Postmodern world and moves toward, if anything, one that is Post-postmodern," bringing with it its own unique sociological and anthropological aspects.
Demographics
United States
A 2013 survey on American Jews conducted by the Pew Research Center, which included more than 500 Orthodox participants, found that 52% of Jewish adults who were raised Orthodox were no longer Orthodox. When subdivided by age, it found that 17% of these are accounted for by those under the age of 30, 43% by those aged 30–49, 59% by those aged 50–64, and 78% by those aged 65 and above. Some experts think that the higher attrition rate in the older age groups is possibly "a period effect in which people who came of age during the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s left Orthodoxy in large numbers."A subsequent 2020 study found the attrition rate to be at 33%. This lower rate may be due to the fact that in this study, the sample of adults who were raised as Orthodox Jews includes a larger percentage of people under the age of 30.
United Kingdom
The JPR's preliminary report from the 2013 National Jewish Community Survey showed that 36% of participants who were raised Central Orthodox were no longer Orthodox. There was no data available to demonstrate shifts in the British Haredi community.Reasons for leaving
Lived experience is different in various sections of Orthodox Judaism, which includes Modern Orthodoxy, Haredism, Yeshivish Orthodoxy initial questioning; 2) growing doubts; 3) beginning to share selectively with a small group of trusted others; 4) revealing a new and altered identity. This process of religious disaffiliation is echoed by Helen Rose Fuchs Ebaugh in a 1988 article about former nuns, which she outlines as 1) first doubts; 2) seeking and weighing role alternatives; 3) a turning point; 4) establishing an ex-role identity.Lynn Davidman's 2014 book acknowledges the often messy process of leaving, including a period of "passing" when individuals move between two worlds. This period is characterized by confusion, doubts, depression, and defiance, but also by self-confidence and courage to leave the regimented world they grew up in and begin to live in another world. In addition, because of the community's insularity, some people who experience the first stages of doubt, confusion, and depression don't see a way out and instead reconcile themselves to remaining. Those who are married and/or have children often make choices about suppressing doubts or negotiating acceptable trespasses with their spouses in order not to jeopardize their spouse and children's standing in the community.
An individual's decision to discontinue practicing Orthodox Judaism is likely based on the presence of one or more of three key causes: emotional, intellectual, or implementational issues. Nishma Research carried out a survey of OTD individuals in 2016, which recorded a widely-varied and complex set of reasons people give for leaving, and the process in which they do so, including emotional, intellectual, or implementational issues. An earlier study by journalist Faranak Margolese came to the conclusion that: "Most formerly observant Jews today seem to have left, not because the outside world pulled them in, but, rather, because the observant one pushed them out. They experienced Judaism as a source of pain…so they did what was natural: go in the other direction." These and other studies point to social and emotional aspects of Haredi Judaism, especially individuals' feelings of being silenced, marginalized, or ignored within the rigid social structure, as important factors in individuals' decisions to leave.
Some selected reasons revealed by these studies include bad behavior and perceived hypocrisy in the community, especially from community leaders; oppressive community norms; experiencing religious observance as a condition for parents' or teachers' love or approval; experiencing molestation, rape, or other sexual abuse; difficulty reconciling strict interpretations of Torah and Talmud with knowledge of natural science; and disbelief that the Torah or Jewish path is correct.
Sexual abuse is indeed found to be reported among OTD individuals at a much higher rate than among the overall Orthodox and general population. According to a 2018 study, formerly Orthodox people are more than four times as likely to report childhood sexual abuse compared to currently Orthodox people and those never affiliated with Orthodox Judaism. A 2019 study on OTD adults reports that 25% of male respondents and 30% of female respondents said that they had experienced sexual abuse within Orthodox Jewish communities, though the questioning was not specific enough to determine the prevalence of sexual abuse in minors.