Dominance and submission


Dominance and submission is a set of behaviors, customs, and rituals involving the submission of one person to another in an erotic episode or lifestyle. It is a subset of BDSM. This form of sexual contact and pleasure has been shown to please a minority of people.
Physical contact is not necessary, and D/s can be conducted anonymously over the telephone, email, or other messaging systems. In other cases, it can be intensely physical, sometimes crossing into sadomasochism. In D/s, both parties take pleasure or erotic enjoyment from either dominating or being dominated. Those who take the superior position are called dominants—''Doms or Dommes —while those who take the subordinate position are called submissive, or subs. A switch is an individual who plays either role. Two switches together may negotiate and exchange roles several times in a session. The term dominatrix usually refers to a female sex worker who dominates others for pay while the term maledom'' is used for a sexually dominant male in BDSM practices.

History

The dominant–submissive relationship fits within the overarching term BDSM and its lifestyle. BDSM stands for "bondage and discipline", "domination and submission", and "sadism and masochism". Many misconceptions of this relationship and its associated activities come from the fact that early theorists conceptualized that sadomasochism and BDSM behavior were a symptom of psychopathology. It was thought that people who participated in this type of sexual play disregarded safety and consent, which influenced the diagnosis, classification, and perception of this type of relationship. These misconceptions of all participants of BDSM having disordered tendencies have related to the definition and criteria for sadomasochism in the DSM-5. Therefore, many in the BDSM community do not fit the criteria.
It is possible that this community of BDSM participants was formed in the early 18th century, and maybe even before. For example, the dominant–submissive partnership has been shown in early versions of the Kama Sutra. Not only is it shown in literature but also in the actions of ancient rulers that would participate in sexually sadistic torture, role play, and finally the assertion of their dominance over subjects. Their actions show severe sadomasochism as well as the early-onset behaviors of the community.
The relationship between a dominant and submissive revolves around consent and guidelines. Within the world of BDSM, consent is a core focus and requirement because it is what separates sexual sadism from coercive sexual sadism disorder in the DSM-5. Sexual sadism disorder and sexual masochism disorder have been changed in order to differentiate between consensual and non consensual partners. As well as meeting the new criteria to be classified as one or the other, for example, the person being diagnosed must be experiencing personal distress about their paraphilia rather than distress coming from society's disapproval. The growth of dominant and submissive behavior, sadomasochism, and other BDSM activity is evident through its history, from ancient times through the separation from disorder to consensual-community participant.

Overview

Dominance and submission have a long history in human culture and civilization. In human sexuality, this has broadened to include voluntarily chosen roles and activities that express dominance and submission. The proportion of the population which partakes in D/s activities is difficult to ascertain as the statistics vary widely depending on the particular study, date of publication, and country where the research has taken place.
A 1985 study suggested that about 30 percent of participants in BDSM activities are females, and the rest are males. A study by the California Graduate Institute in 2008 found that 61 percent of men were exclusively or mainly dominant, while 69 percent of women were exclusively or mainly submissive.
A study in 2008 found that only 2.2% of men and 1.3% of women had participated in a BDSM activity in the previous year. In 2017, a Belgian study of BDSM interest in the general population, with a sample size of 1,027, found that 46.8% of the total sample had ever performed at least one BDSM-related activity. An additional 22% had fantasized about it, and 12.5% performed at least one BDSM-related activity on a regular basis.
A 2019 publication states that a minority of the population engages or fantasizes about BDSM activity. A national study with 2,800 participants showed that about 14% of men and 11% of women had participated in some sort of BDSM related activity and from those results, it was concluded that approximately 10% of adults have joined in some part of the sexual behavior.
A safeword is usually given to the submissive partner to prevent the dominant from overstepping physical and emotional boundaries. It is usually a code word, series of code words or other signal used to communicate physical or emotional state, typically when approaching, or crossing, a boundary. Safewords can have differing levels of urgency - some may bring a scene to an outright stop, whereas others may indicate that a boundary is being approached. A safeword may be used by the Dominant as well as the Submissive if they feel things have gone too far and are uncomfortable continuing.
D/s may be ritualized or freeform. It is usually a negotiated lifestyle, with people discussing their wishes, limits, and needs in order to find commonality. A D/s relationship may be sexual or non-sexual, long- or short-term, and intimate or anonymous. Most adherents search for the essential intensity, trust, and intimacy that are required to make any deep relationship possible.

Terminology

is the sexual practices of bondage and pain/torture, dominant and submissive, as well as sadomasochism.
D/s participants often refer to their activity as "play", with an individual play session being called a "scene". In addition to "dominant" and "submissive" a "switch" is a person who can take either role. The dominant and submissive relations pertain to two people who play with psychological, emotional, and/or physical dominance. Most of the time in sexual relationships like this there is some sort of power exchange through their physical interaction. A scene between two switches can involve trading off the dominant and submissive roles, possibly several times. In contrast, the terms top and bottom refer to the active and passive roles, respectively. In a given scene, there is no requirement that the dominant also be the top, or that the submissive be the bottom, although this is often the case.
The term "vanilla" refers to normative sex and relationships, the vanilla world being mainstream society outside of the BDSM subculture. The term comes from vanilla ice cream being considered the "default" flavor.
The term power exchange refers to the empowerment of the dominant by the submissive's surrender to his/ her control. Power exchange is consensual and in reality, it is the submissive that has the underlying control during the relationship exchange. The dominant is attempting to satisfy the submissive's kinks and desires.
The terms top and bottom are used as verbs or nouns to describe the physical play of SM but with less of a focus of the "sadist" and "masochist" part of the activity. They can be used as synonyms for dominant and submissive.
The term dungeon is used as a reference to a space/room designated for sadomasochism play. It can also be used to describe a club where these activities take place. It can also be a place to practice kinks safely and learn how to carry out activities and play.
The term dungeon monitors is used as a description of well-trusted BDSM members that volunteer to monitor dungeons and look out for infractions, distress, or any other form of misconduct or non-consent.
The term flogger is used to describe a tool or whip used in sexual scenes. The action of flogging refers to impact play. Usually made of leather with a hard handle and multiple long flat strands attached. The term can also be used to describe the person holding the specialized whip.

Linguistic conventions

Some people in the D/s world capitalize words and names that refer to dominants, and do not capitalize those that refer to submissives, hence the capitalization of D/s; others do not. It was popularized in internet chatrooms, to make it easier to identify the orientation of the writer or the person being written about.
Also, some submissives eschew personal pronouns, instead referring to themselves as "this slave" or "Master Bob's girl". This is sometimes considered an expression of modesty, but it is an entirely optional method of depersonalizing a submissive during "play". It may have roots in the military, where new recruits are required to refer to themselves as "this recruit", rather than "I" or "me".

D/s relationship styles

There can be any number of partners in a D/s relationship: one dominant may have several submissives, who may in turn dominate others, or a submissive may have multiple dominants. Relationships may be monogamous or polyamorous. Romantic love is not necessarily a feature in D/s: partners might be very much in love or have no romantic relationship at all. Some D/s relationships are sexual, others completely chaste.
Fantasy role play can be an element, with partners taking classic dominant or submissive roles, or classic authority-figure roles such as teacher and student, police officer and suspect, or parent and child. Animal play, where one partner takes the role of owner or caretaker and the other takes the part of a pet or animal, can also be D/s play.
A classic example of a D/s role is the "sissy" maid, where an adult male dresses in cartoonish female clothing and performs stereotypical female chores such as housecleaning or serving tea. Cross-dressing in D/s does not always involve a desire to be sissified or made into caricatures of women or to serve: for example, others may desire to be made as beautiful as possible and interact on a "girlfriend-to-girlfriend" non-sexual basis.
Variation in D/s is virtually limitless and the activities take many forms, and may be combined with other forms of BDSM. These variations may include: