Playing the victim


Playing the victim is the perceived fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse to others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy, attention seeking or diffusion of responsibility. A person who repeatedly does this is known as a professional victim. An actual victim is someone or something that has been hurt, damaged, or killed or has suffered, either because of the actions of someone or something else, or because of illness or chance.

For abuse

Victim playing by abusers is either:
It is common for abusers to engage in victim playing. This serves two purposes:
  • Justification, to themselves, in transactional analysis known as existential validation, as a way of dealing with the cognitive dissonance that results from inconsistencies between the way they treat others and what they believe about themselves.
  • Justification to others as a strategy of evading or deflecting harsh judgment or condemnation they may fear from others.

    For manipulation

Manipulators often play the victim role by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from someone. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering, and the manipulator often finds it easy and rewarding to play on sympathy to get cooperation.
While portraying oneself as a victim can be highly successful in obtaining goals over the short-term, this method tends to be less successful over time. Dutch management scholar Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries writes that:
Victim playing may also be an attention-seeking technique, as in Münchausen syndrome.

In political context

According to Bosnian political theorist Jasmin Hasanović, in the post-Yugoslav context, the repeated emphasis on narratives of victimhood can function as a form of auto-colonialism. Hasanović argues that this dynamic reinforces regional stereotypes associated with the Balkans and aligns with external narratives that portray the region as inherently prone to conflict. In his view, this framing sustains a perception of continuous fear and conflict, which can contribute to the persistence of ethnonationalist ideologies.

In media

Selective portrayal of different groups or individuals as victims is used by the media to appeal to the sympathy of and mobilize both the political left and right. Groups or individuals are often selected on the basis of class, race, ethnicity, gender, age and/or sexuality.

In corporate life

The language of "victim playing" has entered modern corporate life, as a potential weapon of all professionals. To define victim-players as dishonest may be an empowering response; as too may be awareness of how childhood boundary issues can underlie the tactic.
In the hustle of office politics, the term may however be abused so as to penalize the legitimate victim of injustice, as well as the role-player.

Underlying psychology

distinguishes real victims from those who adopt the role in bad faith, ignoring their own capacities to improve their situation. Among the predictable interpersonal "games" psychiatrist Eric Berne identified as common among by victim-players are "Look How Hard I've Tried" and "Wooden Leg".
R. D. Laing considered that "it will be difficult in practice to determine whether or to what extent a relationship is collusive" – when "the one person is predominantly the passive 'victim'", and when they are merely playing the victim. The problem is intensified once a pattern of victimization has been internalised, perhaps in the form of a double bind.
Object relations theory has explored the way possession by a false self can create a permanent sense of victimisation – a sense of always being in the hands of an external fate.
To break the hold of the negative complex, and to escape the passivity of victimhood, requires taking responsibility for one's own desires and long-term actions.