Same-sex parenting
Same-sex parenting is parenting of children by same-sex couples generally consisting of homosexual or bisexual people who are often in civil partnerships, domestic partnerships, civil unions, or same-sex marriages.
Opponents of same-sex parenting argue that it has an adverse impact on children. However, scientific research consistently shows that lesbian and homosexual parents are as capable and fit as heterosexual parents and that children reared by lesbian and homosexual parents are as psychologically healthy and well-adjusted as those reared by heterosexual parents. Major professional associations of physicians, psychologists, psychiatrists, psychoanalysts, pediatricians, therapists, and social workers have not identified credible empirical research that suggests otherwise.
Forms
LGBT people can become parents through various means including current or former relationships, coparenting, adoption, foster care, donor insemination, reciprocal IVF, and surrogacy. A gay man, a lesbian, or a transgender person who transitions later in life may have children within an opposite-sex relationship, such as a mixed-orientation marriage, for various reasons.Some children do not know they have an LGBT parent; coming out issues vary and some parents may never disclose to their children that they identify as LGBT. Accordingly, how children respond to their LGBT parent coming out has little to do with their sexual orientation or gender identification, but rather with how either parent responds to acts of coming out; i.e. whether there is dissolution of parental partnerships or rather if parents maintain a healthy, open, and communicative relationship after coming out or during transition in the case of trans parents.
Many lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people are parents. In the 2000 U.S. census, for example, 33 percent of female same-sex couple households and 22 percent of male same-sex couple households reported at least one child under the age of 18 living in the home. As of 2005, an estimated 270,313 children in the United States live in households headed by same-sex couples.
Adoption
Joint adoption by same-sex couples is legal in 35 countries and in some sub-national territories. Some countries include Argentina, Brazil, Columbia, Sweden, and the United States. Likewise, some sub-national territories include the Cayman Islands, Mexico City, and Puebla. Furthermore, two countries and one sub-national jurisdiction or dependent territory have legalized or permitted some form of step-child adoption. Step-child adoption is defined as a partner adopting the child of their partner. However, step-child adoption is not legal or recognized in some countries, including Italy.Institutional heterosexism can be observed in adoption policies in many parts of the world: some countries or states explicitly prohibit adoption by openly queer individuals, including lesbian, gay or bisexual people. Other jurisdictions make decisions about whether LGBT people may adopt on a case-by-case basis, with great variability between agencies depending upon the focus of the agency, the religious affiliation of the agency if any, and the disposition of area supervisors and placement workers.
There are also legal barriers to international adoptions, since currently no countries which are actively involved in international adoption permit adoption by openly identified lesbian and gay people. Bisexual, transgender and transsexual people are not typically explicitly named, but are presumably included in these prohibitions.
Notably, LGBT adoption rights are left to judicial decision-making. Opponents of LGBTQ adoption argue that LGBTQ individuals are not prepared to parent children and have adverse effects on children’s upbringing and growth. There are barriers present among LGBT families in the adoption process, including discrimination by agencies at every stage, stigma from social workers, birth parents, judges and attorneys, and other members of the birth family. Notably, adoption is generally the number one choice of family formation for LGBTQ individuals and the last resort for heterosexual individuals. Also, research supports that LGBTQ parents are just as capable of parenthood as heterosexual parents and are able to raise physically and emotionally healthy and well-adjusted children. There is a lot of social pressure that is connected to queer adoptive parenting, including fitting heteronormative gender roles, which is further promoted and encouraged by adoption agencies, particularly in the United States. Queer people are forced to hide or downplay their sexual orientation to fit these gender norms and appear as a more “suitable” and “legitimate” candidate for adoption. There could be a mutually beneficial relationship between adoption agencies and LGTBQ+ individuals if stigma were removed, and with that the reduction of major stressors among LGBT individuals during this anxious time. However, research supports that, “LGBTQ people should be regarded as highly valuable assets by the child welfare system and adoption agencies.” Thus, adoption is a complex system.
Judgements
In 1968, California man Bill Jones became one of the first gay men to adopt a child. He later participated in the gay rights movement with Glide Memorial Church.Sandy Schuster and Madeleine Isaacson, who met at their Pentecostal church, won America's first custody battle in favor of a lesbian couple in 1978.
In January 2008, the European Court of Human Rights ruled that an otherwise legally qualified and suitable candidate must not be excluded from adopting based on their sexual orientation.
In 2010 a Florida court declared that "reports and studies find that there are no differences in the parenting of homosexuals or the adjustment of their children", therefore "the Court is satisfied that the issue is so far beyond dispute that it would be irrational to hold otherwise".
In 2021, United States Supreme Court ruled in Fulton v. City of Philadelphia that the government of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania had violated First Amendment rights of a Catholic foster care agency by refusing to renew the agency's contract unless it agreed to certify married same-sex couples as foster parents. The Court ruled that the City's refusal due to the agency's same-sex couple policy violated the Free Exercise Clause.
Surrogacy
Some LGBTQ couples decide to have children via surrogacy. A surrogate is a person carrying an egg fertilized by sperm with the explicit intention of giving the baby to someone else to parent. Both the egg and sperm can be given by the surrogate, a donor, or one of the intended parents. Gestational carriers are a form of surrogate who carry a fetus which they do not have a genetic relationship to. One study suggests that gestational carriers have a higher success rates than carriers who use their own oocytes.Some people become surrogates for money, others for humanitarian reasons or both. Parents who use surrogacy services can be stigmatized, and the process of surrogacy faces criticism. Stories of parents being misled about how much their surrogate was being paid have been reported, leading to questions about the ethics of monetized surrogacy.
Insemination
Insemination is a relatively non-invasive method of conception. For couples where one or both partners have a uterus and ovaries and no infertility issues, donor sperm insemination can be a first-line approach to conception. Insemination is when one partner with a uterus and ovaries is fertilized with donor sperm. Insemination may occur intravaginally at home, or as a procedure such as intrauterine insemination in a medical facility.Donor sperm may come from a sperm bank, from a family member, a friend, or an acquaintance. Couples who choose to conceive using sperm from a known donor may be required to draw up legal contracts with the donor outlining the parenting obligations and rights of the donor parent. In the United States, this varies on a state-by-state basis. While some states require that a donor makes their donation through a medical facility in order for their parental rights to be forfeited, others only require a clear, written agreement prior to conception.
Some people who produce sperm donate it for humanitarian reasons, others for money or both. In some countries, the donor can choose to be anonymous and in others, they cannot have their identity withheld. A study on lesbian parenting experience highlights this for Greek women, saying, “In Greece, lesbians are not allowed access to in vitro fertilisation, while a solitary woman is allowed access for medical reasons.”
Couples who conceive using donor insemination may experience barriers to sharing legal custody of their children. Historically, courts generally favored the genetic parent over the non-genetic parent in custody cases. However, the legalization of same-sex marriage has enabled some states to apply marriage-based paternity provisions in same-sex lesbian couples. Under these provisions, both partners are presumed to have legal parenthood over children conceived during the marriage. Alternatively, the non-gestational parent may go through second-parent adoption to become a legal parent of the child. Further, multiple courts have used doctrines such as psychological parenthood, equitable parenthood, and de facto parenthood to grant non-biological, non-adoptive parents custody of their children.
Reciprocal IVF
Reciprocal IVF, also called Co-IVF, can enable couples to share biological parenthood. Reciprocal IVF is used by couples in which at least one partner has eggs and another has a uterus. In reciprocal IVF, one partner shares their eggs. This partner undergoes hormonal stimulation and monitoring in addition to the oocyte retrieval. The gestational partner receives the embryo. This partner may also undergo hormonal treatment and monitoring, sonographic monitoring, and one or more embryo transfers.Couples may choose their role as the oocyte provider or gestational parent depending on a number of factors, including biological reasons such as infertility and personal reasons such as desire to be pregnant. In some cases, both partners may go through the oocyte-sharing process, after which the oocytes are mixed, fertilized, and then implanted. This approach allows couples to have a biological child without knowing which partner provided the genetic contribution. In addition, couples may plan to attempt dual partner conception, in which both partners plan to eventually conceive and gestate a child. One specific type of dual partner conception involves repeating the reciprocal IVF process twice, reversing roles for each attempt, so that each partner has both a gestational and a genetic connection with their children.
Given that reciprocal IVF typically also relies on sperm donation, couples using reciprocal IVF face many of the same challenges of legal parenthood as those using donor insemination. In addition, in the United States, different states have different laws regarding the recognition of parental rights. These laws are often not equipped to ensure parental rights for both partners in the case of reciprocal IVF, given that each parent has a different biological connection to the child. Though reciprocal IVF means that both parents are biologically connected to the child, not every state automatically offers parental rights to both parents. Further, if parents choose to pursue second-parent adoption to ensure parental rights for both parents, it is not always clear which parent should petition to adopt their child through second-parent adoption.