List of 'Allo 'Allo! characters


This is a list of all main and recurring characters of BBC television's sitcom 'Allo 'Allo! that ran for 85 episodes from 1982–1992.

Overview

René Artois

René Francois Artois – The local café proprietor who, whilst trying to remain impartial, has been dragged into the war by both sides. The Germans are threatening to shoot him if he does not secretly hide stolen valuables; the Resistance is using his café as a safe-house for shot-down British airmen; and on top of that, he is trying to keep his passionate love affairs with the café waitresses secret from his wife. Whenever his wife Edith catches him in the arms of another woman, René invariably responds with the phrase "You stupid woman! Can you not see that..." followed by a convoluted explanation, which Edith always believes, leading to an apology from her. René does not care much for his mother-in-law, often referring to her as a "silly old bat!" Each episode starts with scenery, costumes or props from the end of the previous episode, and René opens each episode with a monologue to the camera starting "You may be wondering why..." and proceeding to describe the situation he finds himself in, and to summarise the previous episode. Rene's only love is for his waitress/mistress Yvette Carte Blanche.

Edith Artois

Edith Melba Artois – René's wife, and the café's resident cabaret performer. However, her singing is so bad and tuneless that the cafe's customers stick cheese in their ears to block out the noise. Whilst René views her with disdain, she is also the subject of much romantic wooing by the local undertaker Monsieur Alfonse and the Italian Captain Alberto Bertorelli who wants to own the cafe. Although married to Rene, Edith spends most of the series posing as a wealthy available widow due to Rene's faked execution in Series 1. Rene is also forced to try and woo her again to regain control of his own business. Occasionally however there are hints of affection between the two, notably when reminiscing about their courtship. When Edith recreates their honeymoon dinner for their wedding anniversary Rene tells her "I don't deserve you" with apparent sincerity. Whenever she finds René embracing one of the waitresses, she usually asks "René! What are you doing 'olding that servant girl in your arms?". While René is constantly fêted as the 'hero of the resistance' it is usually Edith who comes up with the solution to any problem.

Fanny La Fan

Madame Fanny La Fan – Edith's mother. She lives in an attic above the café, lying in bed wearing white nighties and a goffered cap. This is also where the British airmen and the radio are hidden. When she wants attention she bangs her walking stick on the floor, and cries out "Will nobody 'ear the cries of a poor old woman?" She is partial to a glass of gin, and occasionally fills in for her daughter as part of the café cabaret, although her singing is just as bad. She also hates the Germans, as evidenced by saying "The Germans, I spit on zem", after which she actually spits, usually to the side of the bed. Her attitude towards M. Alfonse varies from one episode to the next, she often says that he would make a better husband for Edith than Rene, but she will also hurl pottery at him from her bedroom window because she does not like undertakers. In reality, the actress Rose Hill was only eight years older than Carmen Silvera, who played her daughter.

Yvette Carte-Blanche

Yvette Carte-Blanche – Head waitress at the café and René's mistress. She is passionately in love with René, and wants to elope with him to Geneva in Switzerland, but cannot do so because René has to stay with his wife. She is also responsible for 'entertaining' the German officers, upstairs at the café with wet celery and a flying helmet; and sometimes with an egg whisk. In her intimate moments with René, she throws her arms around him and rumbles an elongated, deep growl of "Ooooooh, René." Often clinched in the kitchen, "I was just 'anging up ze knockwurst when I remembered all ze 'appy times we 'ad in 'ere.". Yvette is also the only French character who seems able to understand Officer Crabtree's French.

Maria Recamier

Maria Recamier – Another waitress, who is also in love with René. She has no idea that René loves Yvette, and also believes that René should run away with her. She is short statured and many of the jokes play on her small size. "May I get you something...that is not on a high shelf?" When she speaks she has the tendency to spit when she rolls her "r"s. She disguises herself as a Red Cross parcel after sneaking into the British POW camp's mail room in the episode 'Camp Dance', but unfortunately gets sent back to Switzerland after failing to put enough stamps on.
It is heavily hinted that the waitresses supplement their income by prostitution with the Germans, and Yvette frequently entices Colonel von Strohm with the promise of using "the flying helmet and the wet celery". Precisely how these are to be used is never made clear.

Michelle Dubois

Michelle "of the Résistance" Dubois – Leader of the local "French Charles de Gaulle Résistance", she devises elaborate plans to help British airmen escape, and to blow up German ammunition trains and lorries. Whenever she concocts a plan, she gathers everyone around and issues her instruction, "Listen very carefully, I shall say 'zis only once!", followed by the vital information. Whenever her plans are thwarted by someone's stupidity, she rebukes that person, "You fool!" She pretends to fall in love with René, but only to stop him leaving the Resistance. Michelle is also the only French character in the series who speaks English.

Monsieur Roger Leclerc

Monsieur Roger Leclerc – The Resistance's elderly forger, 'master' of disguises, and café piano player. He is responsible for delivering to the café various goods such as batteries, bombs, and radio equipment. He does this in a variety of disguises, ranging from an onion seller to a lost mountain hiker. On delivery Leclerc always says, "It is I, Leclerc", accompanied by a raising of his glasses to reveal his identity. He seems to think that he is good at disguise even though he is always instantly recognisable; René once remarks: "Man of a thousand faces, every one the same!" and on another occasion, "I know. It is you. Leclerc." He is also the childhood sweetheart of Madame Fanny, and often pops up out of her bed whenever Fanny says "Ze flashing knobs!", only to be pushed back down. He is an escaped convict.

Monsieur Alfonse

Monsieur Alfonse – "Alfonse, the half Belgian undertaker, swiftly and with style." He is in love with Madame Edith, often wooing her with flowers and the prospect of living above the mortuary. He has a serious heart condition, causing his "dicky ticker" to go into overdrive when he glimpses the women's underclothing. He often helps the Resistance. When he hears that René is to remarry Madame Edith he challenges him to a duel, from which René eventually escapes, disguised as a woman. René is thereafter proclaimed by Alfonse as the Hero of the Resistance – "The bravest transvestite in all France". Alfonse is later due to officiate at the remarriage of René and Edith himself, in his capacity as Deputy Mayor, only to faint due to his "dicky ticker". He has set up a tunnel from his mortuary to the British POW camp to smuggle in the airmen. Funds for the Resistance, borrowed from him, are forged by Leclerc on their return – unfortunately leading Alfonse to feel generous and spend the money on a party at the café.

Major-General Erich von Klinkerhoffen

Major-General Erich von Klinkerhoffen – A ruthless commander. He always threatens to have French peasants shot when the Resistance attacks the Germans. He occupies a rather grand château, where he is wooed by the serving girls as part of a Resistance mission to steal the knockwurst. He is later implicated in a plot to blow up Hitler, based on a conversation, misheard by the Gestapo, of a plan for a birthday party, with Hitler's painting at the head of the table, and the "blowing-up" is actually just the inflating of the balloons, by Lt. Hubert Gruber. Von Klinkerhoffen is almost universally disliked by von Strohm and the other Germans – who unsuccessfully plot his assassination on more than one occasion.

Colonel Erik von Strohm

Colonel Erik von Strohm – The corrupt German town commandant. He is kept occupied by hiding valuable local paintings and antiques, which he intends to sell after the war. He frequently visits the café, where the waitresses provide him with much entertainment. He always gets René to do his dirty work, threatening him with the line "Othervise I vill have you shot!", with Captain Hans Geering agreeing in a high-pitched voice, "He vould, he did it before!" Hiding his baldness with a comb over, overweight, bumbling and greedy, the Colonel often promises René a cut of the profits but is quick to take them away. He exclaims with a big smug smile, "Ve are vinning ze var. I am a German officer and I can shoot anyone I like!". In episode 1 of series 8, Colonel von Strohm refers to himself as Erik, as he also does later on in the series, when calling his wife: "It's me, Erik!". In his pre-war life, he owned a gateau factory in the Black Forest.

Lieutenant Hubert Gruber

Lieutenant Hubert Gruber – A German officer who has been reassigned following service on the Eastern Front. He is implied to be homosexual and seems to have a crush on René, although in the final episode he is revealed to have married Helga after the war. He is also responsible for forging certain pieces of art. He owns a "little tank", driven by the unseen Clarence. Gruber is in charge of the firing squad that shoots René and feels terribly guilty about the incident. He takes over from Captain Geering as the Colonel's assistant after the captain is captured by the British.