Christian views on marriage
Christian terminology and theological views of marriage vary by time period, by country, and by the different Christian denominations.
Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Christians consider marriage as a holy sacrament or sacred mystery, while Protestants consider marriage to be a sacred institution or "holy ordinance" of God. However, there have been differing attitudes among denominations and individual Christians towards not only the concept of Christian marriage, but also concerning divorce, remarriage, gender roles, family authority, the legal status of married women, birth control, marriageable age, cousin marriage, marriage of in-laws, interfaith marriage, same-sex marriage, and polygamy, among other topics, so that in the 21st century there cannot be said to be a single, uniform, worldwide view of marriage among all who profess to be Christians.
Christian teaching has never held that marriage is necessary for everyone; for many centuries in Western Europe, priestly or monastic celibacy was valued as highly as, if not higher than, marriage. Christians who did not marry were expected to refrain from all sexual activity, as were those who took holy orders or monastic vows.
In some Western countries, a separate and secular civil wedding ceremony is required for recognition by the state, while in other Western countries, couples must merely obtain a marriage license from a local government authority and can be married by Christian or other clergy if they are authorized by law to conduct weddings. In this case, the state recognizes the religious marriage as a civil marriage as well; and Christian couples married in this way have all the rights of civil marriage, including, for example, divorce, even if their church forbids divorce.
Biblical foundations and history
Old Testament
, or men having multiple wives at once, is one of the most common marital arrangements represented in the Old Testament, yet scholars doubt that it was common among average Israelites because of the wealth needed to practice it. Both the biblical patriarchs and kings of Israel are described as engaged in polygamous relationships. Despite the various polygynous relationships in the Bible, Old Testament scholar Peter Gentry has said that it does not mean that God condones polygyny. He also made note of the various problems that polygynous relationships present with the examples of Abraham, Jacob, David, and Solomon in the Bible. Alternatively, this could be a case of graded absolutism.Betrothal, which is merely a binding promise to get married, is distinct from marriage itself, with the time between these events varying substantially. Since a wife was regarded as property in biblical times, the betrothal was effected simply by purchasing her from her father ; the woman's consent is not explicitly required by any biblical law. Nonetheless, in one Biblical story, Rebecca was asked whether she agreed to be married before the marriage took place. Additionally, according to French anthropologist Philippe Rospabé, the payment of the bride price does not entail the purchase of a woman, as was thought in the early twentieth century. Instead, it is a purely symbolic gesture acknowledging the husband's permanent debt to the wife's parents.
Like the adjacent Arabic culture, the act of marriage appears mainly to have consisted of the groom fetching the bride, although among the Israelites the procession was a festive occasion, accompanied by music, dancing, and lights. To celebrate the marriage, week-long feasts were sometimes held.
In Old Testament times, a wife was submissive to her husband, which may be interpreted as Israelite society viewing wives as the chattel of husbands.
Since a wife was regarded as property, her husband was originally free to divorce her with little restriction, at any time.
Jesus on marriage, divorce, and remarriage
According to the Vatican as of a time before 2002, marriage vows are unbreakable, so that even in the distressing circumstances in which a couple separates, they are still married from God's point of view. As of at least that time, this is the Catholic church's position, although occasionally the church will declare a marriage to be "null". William Barclay has written:Theologian Frank Stagg says that manuscripts disagree as to the presence in the original text of the phrase "except for fornication". Stagg writes: "Divorce always represents failure...a deviation from God's will.... There is grace and redemption where there is contrition and repentance.... There is no clear authorization in the New Testament for remarriage after divorce." Stagg interprets the chief concern of Matthew 5 as being "to condemn the criminal act of the man who divorces an innocent wife.... Jesus was rebuking the husband who victimizes an innocent wife and thinks that he makes it right with her by giving her a divorce". He points out that Jesus refused to be trapped by the Pharisees into choosing between the strict and liberal positions on divorce as held at the time in Judaism. When they asked him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?" he answered by reaffirming God's will as stated in Genesis, that in marriage husband and wife are made "one flesh", and what God has united man must not separate.
There is no evidence that Jesus himself ever married, and considerable evidence that he remained single. In contrast to Judaism and many other traditions, he taught that there is a place for voluntary singleness in Christian service. He believed marriage could be a distraction from an urgent mission, that he was living in a time of crisis and urgency where the Kingdom of God would be established where there would be no marriage nor giving in marriage:
New Testament beyond the Gospels
The Apostle Paul quoted passages from Genesis almost verbatim in two of his New Testament books. He used marriage not only to describe the kingdom of God, as Jesus had done, but to define also the nature of the 1st-century Christian church. His theological view was a Christian development of the Old Testament parallel between marriage and the relationship between God and Israel. He analogized the church as a bride and Christ as the bridegroom─drawing parallels between Christian marriage and the relationship between Christ and the Church.There is no hint in the New Testament that Jesus was ever married, and no clear evidence that Paul was ever married. However, both Jesus and Paul seem to view marriage as a legitimate calling from God for Christians. Paul elevates singleness to that of the preferable position, but does offer a caveat suggesting this is "because of the impending crisis"—which could itself extend to present times. Paul's primary issue was that marriage adds concerns to one's life that detract from their ability to serve God without distraction.
Some scholars have speculated that Paul may have been a widower since prior to his conversion to Christianity he was a Pharisee and member of the Sanhedrin, positions in which the social norm of the day required the men to be married. But it is just as likely that he never married at all.
Marriage and early Church Fathers
Building on what they saw the example of Jesus and Paul advocating, some early Church Fathers placed less value on the family and saw celibacy and freedom from family ties as a preferable state.Nicene Fathers such as Augustine believed that marriage was a sacrament because it was a symbol used by Paul to express Christ's love of the Church. However, there was also an apocalyptic dimension in his teaching, and he was clear that if everybody stopped marrying and having children that would be an admirable thing; it would mean that the Kingdom of God would return all the sooner and the world would come to an end. Such a view reflects the Manichaean past of Augustine and the influence of Neoplatonism.
While upholding the New Testament teaching that marriage is "honourable in all and the bed undefiled," Augustine believed that "yet, whenever it comes to the actual process of generation, the very embrace which is lawful and honourable cannot be effected without the ardour of lust...This is the carnal concupiscence, which, while it is no longer accounted sin in the regenerate, yet in no case happens to nature except from sin."
Both Tertullian and Gregory of Nyssa were church fathers who were married. They each stressed that the happiness of marriage was ultimately rooted in misery. They saw marriage as a state of bondage that could only be cured by celibacy. They wrote that at the very least, the virgin woman could expect release from the "governance of a husband and the chains of children."
Tertullian argued that second marriage, having been freed from the first by death, "will have to be termed no other than a species of fornication," partly based on the reasoning that this involves desiring to marry a woman out of sexual ardor, which a Christian convert is to avoid.
Also advocating celibacy and virginity as preferable alternatives to marriage, Jerome wrote: "It is not disparaging wedlock to prefer virginity. No one can make a comparison between two things if one is good and the other evil." On First Corinthians 7:1 he reasons, "It is good, he says, for a man not to touch a woman. If it is good not to touch a woman, it is bad to touch one: for there is no opposite to goodness but badness. But if it be bad and the evil is pardoned, the reason for the concession is to prevent worse evil."
St. John Chrysostom wrote: "...virginity is better than marriage, however good.... Celibacy is...an imitation of the angels. Therefore, virginity is as much more honorable than marriage, as the angel is higher than man. But why do I say angel? Christ, Himself, is the glory of virginity."
Cyprian, Bishop of Carthage, said that the first commandment given to men was to increase and multiply, but now that the earth was full there was no need to continue this process of multiplication.
This view of marriage was reflected in the lack of any formal liturgy formulated for marriage in the early Church. No special ceremonial was devised to celebrate Christian marriage—despite the fact that the Church had produced liturgies to celebrate the Eucharist, Baptism and Confirmation. It was not important for a couple to have their nuptials blessed by a priest. People could marry by mutual agreement in the presence of witnesses.
At first, the old Roman pagan rite was used by Christians, although modified superficially. The first detailed account of a Christian wedding in the West dates from the 9th century. This system, known as Spousals, persisted after the Reformation.